Loving Awareness

That childlike state, and Love.

Posted by matthew on November 6, 2007  |  5236 Commentshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F11%2F06%2Fthat-childlike-state-and-love%2FThat+childlike+state%2C+and+Love.2007-11-06+07%3A49%3A42matthew754129290

This is also available via podcast.

That childlike state - and Love. [ 8:06 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

There is so much we can learn from children. Most of us are disconnected from that childlike quality inside ourselves, that innocent state of joyful wonder that makes love for children so natural. In fact, we can think that that the only way to experience that state is vicariously through our children. We can restrict our boisterous play to only be in the company of children, and make sure we always make â??˜sense’ in the company of adults.

And yet, much of the education of children is really a movement away from wonderful qualities that would greatly serve society. By the time adulthood is reached, through public schools and the gauntlet of teenagedom, there can easily be layers upon layers of defenses, filters, and preconceptions that prevent the wonder of a child and guileless expression. We are taught a learning of accumulation of facts and how to act in such a way that is â??˜normal’. In spite of the tremendous value we know children have, we are in some way denying that value, by trying to exclusively teach them while not learning from them. We don’t see them as equals, as Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg, author of “Nonviolent communication”, says in his article on raising children compassionately.

Children, in their simple wisdom of being who they are, have tremendous amounts to teach and remind us. How easy it is to break down in tears when a child touches your cheek after noticing some held back sadness. Being silly and unrestrainedly playful around a child is the most natural thing in the world. They remind us what is truly important in life. And what they teach us, via the characteristics they model, can be applied to all of life, not just our interaction with them.

To help see this, I’ve listed a number of characteristics young children have that we could all learn from. It is these characteristics that epitomize Love.

• Vulnerability. This is not only an absolute open sense of trust and visibility of self, but also the rapidity at which the task at hand takes complete focus. It is when a child (or adult) is most like themselves, without any apology or attempt to be anything else. True vulnerability always results in more openness, more allowing, and therefore, more Love. We feel this around children, and it is this sense that we respond to in children. A baby is completely vulnerable, completely open to the manipulations of life force around it, yet at the same time, is completely trusting that this process will result in continued life, growth, and for all intents and purposes, Love.

• Harmony. Children are not separate from their environment, their parents, or even themselves. If their parents are upset, they will feel it too. There is no intellectualizing the experience, no controlling of their actions. They feel the state of their surroundings, which includes themselves, and at the same time naturally move towards a balance. Because of this, problems do not accumulate. If they are upset, they scream. If they are sad, they cry. The next moment is often something completely different, as any parent knows!

• A sense of perpetual wonder. Simply mouthing the phrase ‘it brought me back to being a child again’ conveys this. Life is vivid, full of vibrancy and new discoveries behind every corner. There’s new ways of seeing and interacting with even familiar objects. Children have that sense of wonder because they’re completely present in the moment, immersed in the explosion of colors around them at every moment in humble appreciation.

• Exploration beyond “right” and “wrong”. As my previous post, The Beauty of Gray mentions, we tend to get locked into black and white thinking. Something is either good for us or bad, and all our interactions with it is based on this label we have. Children interact directly. And because of this, they are in a perpetual state of exploration. There is no “wrong” behavior – they see nothing strange about putting corn chips down your pants if the mood suits it. (I have personal experience with this!).

• Leaning through play. This is the utmost extension of the previous point. With nothing ‘wrong’, every action is playful. Silliness makes more sense than seriousness, because it voices the absurdity of trying to control and label all the experiences occurring. And learning occurs very quickly because of the open state of the child.

• Trust. There are no worries in a child’s mind beyond the immediate moment. There is simply a powerful trust that all they need will be there.

All of these states, of course, are as accessible to adults as they are to children. But for the most part, we have been educated away from such means of interacting with each other, and even with children. But this education can be discarded.

The next time you are with a young child, be a young child yourself. Don’t put on a mask of acting child-like, such as faces and ‘goo-goo’ sounds. Play as if nothing mattered. Relate to them from a place of equality, for they are teaching you as much as you are teaching them. Know that their vulnerability is at the same time incredibly fragile and immensely powerful, and that this dichotomy also resides within you.

‘I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, â???’

It is of course very humorous that millions of people have quoted the Bible on becoming like a little child without making any movement whatsoever towards that effect themselves. Being childlike is in essence the same as being full of Love. It is a state of playful unity and harmony to the surroundings, appreciating and welcoming the uniqueness of everyone in the world. It is a state of continual transformation with no end in sight. It is a state both of incredible fragility that comes from vulnerability and of incredible power to affect, like what you see in the eyes of a child.

It is you.

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Connecting With Nature

Posted by admin on October 28, 2007  |  517 Commentshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F10%2F28%2Fconnecting-with-nature%2FConnecting+With+Nature2007-10-28+18%3A54%3A52adminhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F10%2F28%2Fconnecting-with-nature%2F

I’ve been thinking lately of my connection with nature, exploring that connection more deeply, especially following a recent and quite profound experience I had in the forest (and here’s yet another quite amazing one; can you tell this is a bit of a theme here?) and I invite you to think now about your connection with nature.

I suspect that for the most part we really don’t give this much thought. Nature is simply ‘there’, and our day-to-day awareness doesn’t often extend to a real connection to nature beyond, say, noticing the gorgeous deep velvety reds of the Japanese maple trees, or the clearness of the autumn blue sky that provides a backdrop to the clouds in a usually overcast sky. We notice these things, notice their beauty, even perhaps notice their perfection, but fail to go that extra step and really connect with it: feeling the trees and their dance of interconnectedness, bursting into bloom yourself along with the geraniums in the pot on your windowsill, becoming the bird intent on seed-gathering to acquire energy to store for the cold winter ahead. We don’t usually feel what it is like to BE an aspect of nature, even though we are an aspect of it ourselves.

By denying a true connection to nature we deny an essential aspect of Self.

There is tremendous value in connecting with animals, trees, and other elements of what we consider to be nature. These elements, are part of our home, part of our world, and are as such connected to us, to humans, in a very intimate way. We share space. We share air. We share resources. Not only that, but we share in the creation of our world, the global creation of the reality we know as life. And because of that there is an undying connection between us as humans and ALL of the so-called ‘natural’ elements of nature.

Think back to a time when you were connected with nature. For most of us this happened easily and naturally when we were children. True connection to nature is a childlike state, a natural state, a state of innocence. Rediscovering your own true connection to nature now will help you reach that state again more easily, time and again, and provide for you a spiritual home to which you can return over and over, always having this base of existence and perception to belong to. And being more often in a state of childlike innocence leaves us so much more open to vulnerability and openness in every aspect of our lives, allowing us myriad opportunities for growth and understanding.

But how can we re-connect to nature if we think we have lost this in the mundane aspects of living life?

It is not enough, for some, to simply state an intention and then order the universe to ‘make it so.’ New pathways of perception need to be forged, new roads to awareness.

For me, what has helped remake these pathways has been two things: being open and being present.

I invite you, then, to find your own corner where you can feel nature. This can simply be a spot near a sunny window in which you can feel the rays directly upon you, but feel free to use your yard, a park, any open spot where you can sit awhile undisturbed. There need be nothing ‘magical’ or special about the place, for truly, nature will find you wherever you are.

Sit comfortably in your chosen spot, then, and imagine the time when the things around you didn’t exist. There were no buildings, no electrical lines, no lawns, not even the trees you see now were there. Once, in time, things looked very different from the way they look now. If you allow it, you can imagine this time, for you possess a connection to it. It is in your genetic memory, in every cell of your body. Imagine each cell, then, unlocking this distant memory. See in your mind’s eye the immense past, every possibility, every moment of time, hanging between you and time’s dawn. You have access to all of it. Now notice the thread that runs through these pages that flutter in front of you, the pages of the past. There is a single thread that weaves its way through ALL of time, through every moment, through every experience, and that is the thread of nature, of our connection to the Earth and to every element of the Earth, every tree, every plant, every stone, and every living being. Keep looking and you’ll notice that this thread is connected to you as well. Do you see it? Can you feel it now, tugging gently at you, a little insistent, reminding you of your immense past, of your deep connection with All That Is?

There it is, then. Your connection to nature is there whether or not you have felt it all along. It is undeniable, this connection we all possess to one another, to the Earth, to every living being on the Earth.

The lessons from connection to nature are many and varied and often depend on the individual, but regardless of perspective there is always growth opportunity through human connection with nature. After all, it is your home. It is your life. To deny nature is denying an aspect of Self, and to fully embrace nature, to accept it in all its splendor, ugliness, and beauty, is a huge step in actually accepting your Self.

I invite you to embrace your connection with nature, then, to embrace the fullness of your humanity, which will in turn bring fullness to every aspect of your life.

The nature of community (Podcast!)

Posted by matthew on October 21, 2007  |  494 Commentshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F10%2F21%2Fpodcast-1-community%2FThe+nature+of+community+%28Podcast%21%292007-10-22+06%3A52%3A19matthewhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F10%2F21%2Fpodcast-1-community%2F

Announcement: This site is now podcasting!

The podcasts will be a growing library of channeled and non-channeled material related to this site. If you’re not familiar with channeling, it is essentially how information was accessed for Conversations with God, the Seth material, and the material surrounding the Law of Attraction. It is quite natural, and most people channel without realizing it. Essentially, channeling means connecting to beings on other planes of existence – and usually beings with enormous awareness, compassion, and love. Every time we connect with these being we’re filled with such vision, and from there we try to bring it into our every day lives. Hopefully these podcasts give a more direct glimpse of what we’re involved with. So let’s get started. This time – on community!

Podcast #1: The nature of community

Click the play button :

The nature of community [ 0:01 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

There’s so much more to offer from listening to the voices, but for reference, here is the transcript:

The nature of community and what we can do to help build it.

We would like to remind you this evening that at all times each one of you is concerned with building, creating, maintaining, and living in community. This is the largest part, we would say, of the human experience, for without others, there is no interaction, there is no growth, there is no experience, and there is no Love. Although, we hasten to add that Love of course exists whether or not you experience it through others (through your interaction with others), or simply alone though yourself and your own introspection and perceptions of the universe. So we repeat again that it is the creation, the building, and the maintaining of community that takes up the majority of the human experience.

If we were to define community, we would define it thusly: Community is the combined spirit of those involved. It is very simple. That is all it is. Since each of you possesses within you the vastness of the universe, each of you brings this to all the myriad communities of various sizes and composition that you take part in. Therefore each of you brings a completeness to all the communities in which you participate. However, it is the nature also of being human that you experience separateness and isolation. This often brings within you a great sense of sadness that can be pervasive and difficult to see through. There are, then, operating within each of you, two seemingly opposing forces. One of the creation, building and maintaining community, and the other of stark isolation and separation. We would say that it is this seeming constant struggle that occupies many of you for lifetimes. Especially as you gain experience and knowledge through the reincarnational cycle, you bring with you each time you incarnate additional memories of what existence is like when not in human form. It is during those times that you experience the sublime sense of connection with all that is, and this dim half memory accompanies many of you as you incarnate in human form. There is resistance, then, to living life on Earth (as you see it in your perception), resistance to allowing yourself to become immersed in the experience that you are having. While on the one hand this presents you with many unique and often interesting challenges, there is as we said an accompanying and pervasive sadness that also can plague you.

We would offer you, then, some tools if we may, to help you see through the mask of isolation that you have wrapped yourself in, and to help you feel a connection with all the communities that already exist within and around you, and as a part of you. In fact we offer the thought that even hearing these words, or reading them, may help transform your perception to a degree where you can allow yourself to acknowledge the community that already exists. There is no need to strive to build community and create something which already exists. You have community because you are human. That is your community, and allowing yourself the perception of being totally here, now, will allow you possibly to sense the completeness and the perfection of the community that you are already a part of.

Changing the subject slightly, we wish to point out that in common usage for most of you, the word ‘community’ is really more what we would term as a ‘group’, meaning a collection of people, possibly like-minded people, or people moving along a certain path to a certain degree together. However, when we say ‘community’ we like to bring it down to its basic element, to commune, meaning to be one with, and to remind you now and forevermore: Every time you hear this word ‘community’, you will be reminded on some level that you already posses a oneness with all that is, and there is nothing you can do to separate from that oneness. So if you should hear at some point, talk about ‘warring communities’, you can smile a little at yourself, thinking ‘that’s ridiculous’, because community means a oneness with all that is, and how can one single thing possibly be at war with itself? And again you will be reminded that because of your humanity, you are already one with everything else there is.

Question: The follow up question is more in terms of conscious recognition of this state. Group dynamics are more of a co-creative atmosphere. In other words, it is not simply the individual that promotes the recognition of the interconnectedness of all. So what are productive ways to go about promoting this as a group consciousness, seeing as that we are already connected and one with each other, but we can certainly learn something on living it?

If it is your desire to be a part of various groups that operate at what we loosely say as a ‘higher level’ of awareness than other groups that you may be involved with, we would suggest then that if possible, you engage in some energetic exercises together as a group. We are somewhat amused by the image of the members of say, large corporations all standing out in an empty parking lot doing jumping jacks. And while that is an exercise that could be performed that would help raise this group dynamic, this consciousness if you will, there are many ways of promoting exercises on a group level that would also have the same desired effect. In essence, any time you can get a group of people of doing essentially the same thing at the same time will have that effect, whether it is jumping jacks on an empty parking lot, rooting for the same team, ganging up on someone in an online discussion group, or joining a social networking group in order to send ‘energetic tendrils’ to one another. Any time a group of people is performing essentially the same action at the same time it will have this effect. The more of these actions that can be performed, the more changes are enacted upon the group, and the more intricate the dynamic becomes. We would say also to remind you that each group of people has its own consciousness to some degree that is separate from the individual consciousnesses that make up the group, and it is the nature of this consciousness to change, evolve, and transform, just as your own does. This ‘consciousness’, if you will (and it is not a perfect term by any means), can be altered under many conditions. It is most preferable, as we said before, to do this under a combined group effort, but a group consciousness can be altered by a single individual who is part of the group, simply from their own desire to enact changes upon the group’s consciousness. You have likely seen this in action.

Changes to a group’s consciousness can also occur as the result from reverberations from situations and occurrences that happen to other groups around the globe. There is, of course, a rippling effect throughout all of humanity, from any occurrence anywhere. Certain types of occurrences have a greater degree of effect on different types of groups. The permutations are too numerous to go into at this time.

All of this, of course, is part of the interplay under the general framework called Love.

Joy at all times

Posted by matthew on October 17, 2007  |  4717 Commentshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F10%2F17%2Fjoy-at-all-times%2FJoy+at+all+times2007-10-18+06%3A44%3A21matthewhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F10%2F17%2Fjoy-at-all-times%2F

Joy is a seemingly elusive and ephemeral quality in this day and age. So many daily actions are justified with a reasoning process involving a search for this distant state. Relationships, career seeking, and nights on the town often have this expectation, along with a corresponding anger and disappointment when joy is not found in them. Despair can appear when life’s circumstances appear to offer no possibility for joy. But what exactly is joy?

It is easy to label joy as a simple emotion, but it is far more encompassing than that. For instance, most people would not entertain the possibility of feeling joy and pain at the same time, and yet this occurs every moment of every day. It occurs sometimes for those suffering from a fatal disease, and it did occur in rare cases even amidst the horrors of concentration camps. So joy is not mutually exclusive from any experience.

In fact, there is a very common idea that one cannot feel joy and pain at the same time – or a combination of joy and other emotions such as grief, remorse, anger, terror, or rage. It is this preconception, seemingly paradoxically, that largely blocks people from joy. With this pre-decision already made, there are myriad circumstances justifying why joy is in the future, not now. Emotions exist that preclude joy, therefore work must be taken to resolve them. Financial stability must be attained to avoid fear, counselling must be sought to transform ‘negative emotions’, and a good stable relationship must exist for joy to be “won”. All of this, of course, is a never ending battle. Joy is not in the present moment, but always over that next hill, until the hills become mountains.

And yet, there is always the possibility for joy to intrude under any circumstance:

A common example would be someone caught in the elements. During a long walk home one day from a work event, a freak thunderstorm occurs. You are dressed formally and are first miserable because of your concern and disappointment of the effect the rain will have on your clothes. You rage at your helplessness in the face of the weather. You start to feel cold and are afraid you will get sick. You are filled with thoughts and emotions of what an awful experience this is.

And yet, in a blink of a moment it doesn’t matter any more. Like a child, you start giggling and dancing in the rain. A sudden feeling of exhilaration takes over you, and you skip and jump, splashing water left and right, and even jumping in the biggest puddle on the street to make a huge splash. The concern over clothes and the cold has not disappeared, but it has started to coexist with a quality of joy.

Did the rain cause this joy? Of course not. This joy was always there; it was simply that the rain gave you an opportunity to surrender completely to your experience. In this surrendering, you found a state of allowing of exactly what was going on in the present moment, and through this, innocence and joy.

Joy can indeed coexist with all experiences. There can be a joy in getting angry at someone who crosses healthy boundaries; it is not that you are enjoying punishing someone, but you are enjoying stating firmly what you want. The anger is part of your completeness. (See the post on The Innocence of Anger for further explanation). There can be joys in intimacies, or joys in surrendering to the experience of isolation and loneliness that comes from a relationship ending. Many great works of art have been created from this heightened state. Joy at its root is simply a state of surrender, of allowing. And because it is this, which is available at all times, there is no experience you can possibly imagine that has no room for joy in the midst of it. Some experiences take more surrender to reach that place, but this does not mean no joy is there. It simply means there is a lack of trust. Surrendering to the experience of a fatal disease requires tremendous trust, and this society is built on distrust. However, the potential is absolutely there even in such painful times.

There is, of course, a spectrum of joy, which relates to the experience of surrender and Love. The following spectrum shows a range of joys, from the most simple to the most all-encompassing.

Experience of Joy
Survival; a contentment at being able to feel and breathe
Connecting with others like you; a joy of basic community and being a part of something greater than you.
The joy of making an impact. Revelling in your desires without shame or control.
The joy of intimacy. Vulnerability and exchange, a truly opening experience.
The joy of childlike play. The world is full of innocence and wonder and there is freedom and communion with others in every moment.
The joy of awareness. The deep nature of interconnectedness with all beings is felt, and the joy shifts to simply being.
The joy of oneness. There is no longer any separation to experience, and thus all ‘problems’ are not seen as such, but simply as expressions of Love.

All of these states build on each other in greater allowing. Each level encompasses the previous one, without anything denied – so if you are not appreciating basic breathing and feeling alive, it will be impossible to appreciate community or intimacy. These states are available in every single moment in our lives, of course. From the most mundane office meeting to the most passionate lovemaking, and even to the most excruciating pain, there is a joy underlying the experience that simply is waiting to be surrendered to. This joy does not take away the experience, but provides support and awareness of it. Pain still exists in the midst of joy, but it becomes something to witness rather than be lost in.

It takes great courage to find this level of surrender even in the most trying circumstances. It requires diving off the cliff of being certain about the meaning attached to your experience, and into the unknown. Joy of course, is unknown, because it cannot be encapsulated by labels. It is beyond reason, beyond anything but the surrender of yourself to the state of not knowing – simply experiencing and allowing. And because this is all it is â???? the never ending flight that comes from taking that step off the cliff â???? it is available in every moment.

If you’ve enjoyed this, other posts you may also like include The Allowing of Pain (with a similar spectrum shown for it), and a previous post of a Table of Emotions – Allowing and Blocking states. And if you want to receive in your mailbox, please Subscribe to Loving Awareness by Email.

Consider this an invitation to joy. Breathe with us, Now, and enjoy it.

Reconnecting to Your Source

Posted by admin on October 11, 2007  |  452 Commentshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F10%2F11%2Freconnecting-to-your-source%2FReconnecting+to+Your+Source2007-10-11+16%3A12%3A41adminhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F10%2F11%2Freconnecting-to-your-source%2F

All of us, each one of us, is connected to one another. We each are created from, formed of, and connected to the same genetic source material. This is such a universal truth that it appears in both religious literature and myth alike. The story of Genesis and the formation of us as humans is part of us, part of our heritage as a people, and the truth remains: we are connected, we are One.

Then why the pervasive feeling of separateness, of disconnection from where and how we began? Why can’t we feel connected to our source, connected to others and to the Universe, at all times?

The answer is both simple and complex: we chose the separation, each one of us, yet we can have that reconnection if we so desire.

Separation is a way of allowing us to become caught up in the illusions of the life experience so as to present ourselves and one another with growth opportunities. Simply put, we learn from interaction from one another, and if there was no interaction, we would not evolve. It is impossible to learn all there is about being human simply from interacting with the self.

We learn a great deal through conflict. Conflict arises from a feeling of disconnectedness, and without conflict there is often little impetus to interact and grow from that interaction. While it is certainly possible and often preferable to learn from places of joy, it is difficult for us to remain in that state long enough to allow the growth to permeate us; when in Joy we often are simply caught up in the wonder and beauty of it and neglect to utilize that time as well to grow and learn. It is a very human trait, then, to require conflict in order to grow.

That is not to say that conflict is desirable, simply that from it springs much to build a lifetime of evolution and growth.

While separation is part of the design of human evolution and growth, it certainly is not the natural state from whence we came, and often we feel a longing to return to that state of utter connectedness yet fee we have lost the way to get there.

It is one thing to say and acknowledge, “I am One with you, we are all One,” and it is quite another thing to hold that belief inside us, in our hearts and even down to a cellular level. How, then, to get there? How can we hold that knowingness inside us, so that it may be present to comfort us, to guide us, to allow us to remain connected with all that we are?

It is really quite simple.

All you need to do is to allow the connection.

“Allow the connection”? What does that mean, in real terms?

It means stepping into that place rather than forcing your way in. It means holding the idea of being connected to source at all times, holding it within you as a real possibility. It means, also, letting yourself deserve that reconnection.

Let’s talk for a moment about what we deserve. We all are here on this planet on a level playing field, meaning that we all, since we are of course connected and part of the One, deserving of the same experiences, the same opportunities. You likely believe this on various levels pertaining to human rights, civil rights, and the like. We are One. But going to you, yourself, thinking about only yourself, do you give yourself the same opportunities for joy and happiness that you allow for others? Or do you see yourself as perhaps having to work a little harder, a little longer, for the same growth that you fully believe others are deserving of?

Do you really believe that you deserve to be connected to your inner source?

If you are human, then you are deserving of the human experience. Period. And allowing a reconnection to our source is certainly and most positively part of the human experience.

Again, then, allowing the connection to Source means letting go of who you think you are and letting in all the myriad magical possibilities of who you could be. For all those possibilities are also You. You are far larger than you perceive. In fact, you are not only who you think you are and the millions of imagined possibilities of who you are, but you are also all the yous that ever have been, all the yous who ever existed in your imagination or otherwise, throughout your entire life. All those possibilities, whether real or imagined, are all a part of the larger You that is. And when you acknowledge all those possibilities, acknowledge your Self in all its grand bigness and perfection, you allow connection to Source, for it is through the You that is that your connection exists.

It is through the You That Is that your connection to your Source exists.

And it is by allowing and acknowledging all your myriad possibilities, tens of thousands upon millions of them, that you regain your connection to the One that is you.

The unity in Love

Posted by matthew on October 7, 2007  |  4417 Commentshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F10%2F07%2Fthe-unity-in-love%2FThe+unity+in+Love2007-10-08+01%3A02%3A30matthewhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F10%2F07%2Fthe-unity-in-love%2F

Love is always a journey towards oneness, toward unity. ? Because the use of the word Love is so pervasive in Hollywood, psychology and everyday use, it is used in many cases in contexts which does not imply this. 

? For instance, here is one phrase which has entered into the standard cultural catch phrases:

You cannot love another more than you love yourself.

While true, this implies of course there is a distinction between loving yourself and loving another. ? There is no difference. ? Loving yourself is loving another, and loving another is loving yourself. ? To perceive otherwise would be to enforce separation where there in actuality is none. ? There is a vast web of interconnection between everyone and everything on this planet, and what affects one spins out to affect us all. ? Every action you take, whether it is to yourself or others, creates ripples throughout yourself, your friends, your community, and the world. ? Looking deeply at the vast power and scope of this interconnectedness, the ultimate truth is simply that you are the world. ? Loving yourself is loving the world, and loving the world is loving yourself.

This may seem idealistic and ungrounded to some. ? To help the explanation so you understand this interconnection in a more practical way, let’s look at a relationship pattern that has been very common in this culture, with manifestations in both genders:

A man decides he is in love with a woman and wants to build a future together. ? Wanting to demonstrate this, he showers her with gifts and wants to spend every waking moment outside of work with her. ? He makes her wishes ultra-important and always makes sure to do whatever it is she wants, putting aside his own desires. ? He has decided love is to be expressed through sacrifice. ? To pay the extra bills, he keeps at a job he doesn’t like much, and gives up dreams he has of alternate careers. ? While this feels very flattering at first, after some time the woman feels this sacrifice like a weight on her shoulders. ? He has given up large aspects of himself, which cannot help but create both a void in him that he hopes to fill via the woman and unspoken expectations that influence all interactions in the relationship. ? After a time this accumulates into frustrations and arguments. ? He has disconnected aspects of himself and assumed this is an action based in love. ? In essence, he has tried to find Love through not loving himself, and then discovers the expression of this lack of unity from the voice of his partner.

Showing the other side of the spectrum, many “selfless” people initiate all of their actions from a very “selfish” perspective – albeit with a grander awareness that encompasses this interconnection. ? Gandhi once spoke that he was the most selfish being on the planet. ? He performed every single action solely for himself. ? He thus did not get tired of living his ‘selfless’ life, because it was a continual reinforcement based in love of Self.

If you recall moments of love between you and someone else, even experiences with a pet, these are moments where truly their needs and desires meld and coexist with your own as equal partners. ? The other’s desires becomes your own. ? There is oneness and unity. ? There is no sacrifice of your own desires in this state, for your desires are as important to the other as their own, and vice versa. ? Experiences in this state are often called “higher”, where time stands still, colors seem brighter and a grand feeling of aliveness pervades every moment. ? However it is not truly “higher”, but simply underlying every moment, waiting for you to knock.

To help with this experience, here is an exercise:

Sit across from a partner and breathe calmly and deeply together as you look into each other’s eyes. ? Imagine yourself in a vast plain of grass and forests drenched in comforting sunlight, with all the space around you that you can possibly imagine. ? Now bring every aspect of yourself to this place. ? This includes all of your desires, your dreams, your frustrations, and even your defenses. ? Let them take up all the room they could ever need without any expectation of change. ? Your partner can do the same in their own mind. ? Breathe deeply for a minute until this feels like a completely natural self-perpetuating state.

Now bring your partner into this place, which includes inviting all aspects of them into your space. ? Invite their desires, their dreams, their frustrations, and yes, even their defenses. ? Give them as much space as they could ever need. ? Now allow both of you to interact in this space without trying to do anything. ? Let your desires interact with theirs without conflict. ? Even your defenses can interact. ? Give it time and space.

With complete permission there is an encompassing transformation that occurs naturally, without effort. ? There is no sacrifice, only expansion that comes from allowing a greater world you’re your own. ? Because their desires are as important as your own, the interaction helps you understand your own desires more clearly, and even grow towards grander dreams. ? Oneness helps you move towards clarity with your own identity, rather than making you give it up.

Note that this exercise can be done alone with the Self, for we all have conflicting aspects of ourselves that desire different things. ? These have sometimes be called “subpersonalities”, or separated aspects of Self that have different identities, albeit in milder forms than what is seen with true multiple personalities. ? If you are alone, you can stare into a mirror and bring conflicting aspects of yourself together into this vast open field of sunlight in exactly the same way as described above. ? Allowing all aspects of yourself to operate from a space of unity will of course create ripples in all the relationships in your life, inviting others to do the same. ? Loving yourself is indeed loving the world.

Being present with emotions

Posted by matthew on September 30, 2007  |  423 Commentshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F09%2F30%2Fbeing-present-with-emotions%2FBeing+present+with+emotions2007-09-30+21%3A41%3A27matthewhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F09%2F30%2Fbeing-present-with-emotions%2F

Emotions are somewhat of a problem for the vast majority of people in this culture. They can be very pleasurable in the initial rush of love in relationships or in successes in sports and the workplace, but for the most part ‘painful’ or ‘messy’ emotions are thought of as something to avoid or fix. Many, many people have gone to counseling because at the root they see their emotions as a problem and thus think they have issues to resolve.

I personally love emotions. I love them for the huge gift of perceptions they bring, being a measure of dynamics happening externally. I love them for the self-knowledge they bring. But most of all I love them because inviting them in, fully, in their totality, brings such a vivid sense of aliveness that is not possible without them.

Simply put, there are no â??˜problems’ with any emotions. The only problem is our own judgment, the perception of separation that divides parts of ourselves into â??˜good’ and â??˜bad’. This categorization has a strong influence in every experience of emotion.

I’ve written before about related topics, so for further reference you can look at The Allowing of Pain and Negativity and a table of emotions.

To look in detail at something, let’s look on a basic personal characteristic that is treated with suspicion and often repressed: the quality of aggression. It is recognized, truthfully so, that aggression can cause conflicts, crossing of boundaries, and a fundamental lack of listening. And yet this is only one aspect of aggression, an aspect fundamentally based in the perception of differences and separation. Someone mired in this state views others as unconnected to themselves, and therefore an enemy. This is always accompanied by a deep division in the self, where there is some denial of huge swaths of one’s being. Although this is all too common, it is actually not a natural state. Looking into nature and its purity, it is easy to find examples which are not based at all in separateness, but rather of following the natural way each creature is meant to be. Spending time watching tigers or black panthers in the wild gives a wonderful example of this. Their aggression is a thing of beauty, and harmonious.

Within people, when aggression is allowed to its full fruition – without any perception of separateness – there is never any possibility for war because there is no one ‘out there’ to make war with. Perhaps a better word for the state is dynamism. Dynamism is itself part of the spectrum of aggression, a great expansion of energy which includes and brings others together for a purpose. It inspires and provides a basis for positive change in the world.? Dynamism includes all the aspects of aggression mentioned above, but is not at all based in conflict, so the same energy that is used for conflict in one case is used for creation and beauty. 

?A wonderful example of this state is the spiritual teacher Krishnamurthi. There was a strong outward force around him which was joyful to be around, much like watching a panther in the wild.

All emotions â???? and personal characteristics – have this dichotomy. When blocked and based in the division of right and wrong, ‘me’ and ‘not me’, any emotion can create conflict. When fully allowed to the degree where there is no control and no judgment, there is a transforming that occurs to move us into the potential of the experience of that emotion. This will always be a movement towards love of self and others. Allowing always creates a space for this transformation and movement. All too often, there is a desire to take action to transform emotions into something â??˜better’. At its roots this is a non-acceptance of emotions as they are occurring in the present moment. Any action based on non-acceptance is likely to perpetuate that state.

Saying ‘we are complete and perfect just as we are’ is not an empty statement, nor is it based in a positivity that is about avoiding focusing on ‘negative things’ – though it has often been used for this purpose. It is a statement of fact. As we learn greater experience of allowing, we also gain more direct experience of this completeness. And thus, joy begins to be a regular occurrence.

the prison of emotional denial

Posted by matthew on September 23, 2007  |  711 Commentshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F09%2F23%2Fthe-prison-of-emotional-denial%2Fthe+prison+of+emotional+denial+2007-09-24+06%3A00%3A45matthewhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.loving-awareness.org%2F2007%2F09%2F23%2Fthe-prison-of-emotional-denial%2F

These last two weeks I’ve been witness to a few rather emotional discussions. Which is not at all unusual for me. However, in these weeks I’ve also been seeing how much push there is to suppress emotion in them – even for discussions of an inherently emotional nature. This kind of reaction seems to be pervasive in our culture. As a society, we’re extremely uncomfortable with emotion, and this shows up in a lack of appreciation of simply allowing it. To take an example, say there’s a conflict between two people you know and like. There are no ‘easy’ solutions in such a situation. Both of them usually have valid perspectives, which are linked to their own emotions, who they are, and their own boundaries. It’s easy to get alienated from such situations because there’s no ‘right’ answer, no “good side”, and it’s easy to feel trapped between the opposing forces. Aligning yourself with one side usually generates more problems. Emotions, therefore, are something best to avoid. At least so many thoughts go.

If we look deeply at the mechanism of suppressing emotions, it’s easy to see why. Who we are, which includes emotions, is actually extremely flexible â???? we can do almost anything we want to ourselves. We can develop ourselves to be almost anything desired, but we can also push emotions, memories, and thoughts away from sight and try to squish them into nothingness. Our training in this culture involving doing such things almost from day one. However â???? and this is the root of almost all ‘problems’ â???? we cannot truly disconnect ourselves from ourselves. There is no way to cut off and discard any disliked portion of ourselves. There is truly no escape from who we are. We can try to surgically disconnect a painful emotion, and we get a reasonable facsimile of this disconnection. But it will not be a true disconnect. Any emotion we’ve tried to shove away is always there, waiting to come back, and in fact pulling on us in every moment.

For the visually minded, I liken this process to a great white elastic band. We can stuff part of ourselves in a box, bury it, and walk away, but we’ll have that ‘pull’ from it. It will exert pressure on us in every single moment, bringing attention to it. The farther we push it away, the more pull there will be. This is why the elastic band image helps. This pull isn’t a harsh ‘you must deal with it’ one, but rather a force of nature that simply wants us to be in wholeness, bringing us back to our greater Self. This elastic can be influenced by others, too â???? if someone else walks through the area of the denied connection, what occurs is the elastic force snapping back, similar to a real elastic band. This is another description of what ‘triggering’ is.

Now in almost everyone there is not just one such pocket of emotion buried and abandoned, but multitudes. Each one exerts this pull back. Try to imagine how that would feel with real elastic bands. Because of the constant pull in many conflicting directions, there’s very little freedom to move in any direction. A little movement can be made, but even small can movements pull against hidden emotion which will then pull back, producing an emotional reaction in response. This can generates fear of any emotional movement at all. Most people are quite literally trapped in a static place by buried emotions. In such a place, life is filled with emotional minefields and geysers waiting to erupt. Words must be watched and controlled in every moment. Walls and wired fences mark off areas where unwanted emotions lie fallow.

Now imagine on top of this picture that you are close with someone else, who also has a huge amount of buried emotions. It would be very easy to get a reaction in that person if you tried to move through any of their “elastic bands”. So in most relationships, there is a general, unspoken agreement for both parties to act in such a way that no one will be triggered. The initial rush of being ‘in love’ at the beginning is usually the time such agreements are formed. It’s quite natural, of course; being triggered is not enjoyable to anyone, and it is normal to demonstrate you’re not going to trigger pain to someone you love. However, this restricts motion even further. After some time, there’s often a realization of how emotionally static such a posture is. This is when relationship questioning happens. It can either lead to greater freedom if both sides are open to questioning or to the end of a relationship if one person blames the other for opening up emotional cans of worms. There was an unspoken agreement, after all!

These unspoken agreements are actually pervasive in all aspects of our society. Social groups often have a number of these. To see this, try to imagine you showing the raw spectrum of an intense emotion without filtering (and without blaming others) to a group you’re part of. If you feel that this would cause a lot of alienation, or you simply cannot even imagine it, that is a sign of unspoken agreements. In such cases, someone not acting in accord with these agreements are the vast majority of the time thought of as ‘the problem’. To someone in a prison, those outside of it can indeed be a problem! Unfortunately, the label of ‘the problem’ sticks far too often to anyone with even a little self-doubt, encouraging further denial of emotions. And thus the cycle continues

The road less travelled, of course, is simply to not push away any emotion that occurs. This applies to both emotions within and emotions in others. Without the network of opposing forces described above, an incredible amount of freedom begins to take root. There are no longer any self-created chains rooting you to a particular emotional landscape. At first this is terrifying, but as the infinite amount of choices now available are gotten used to, the dance of freedom truly begins.

Of course, it takes a good deal of time to reincorporate denied aspects of ourselves back into the fold. Try to imagine trying to rush this process and having many of these elastic forces snap back all at once! It takes gentleness and patience. Nevertheless, each part of Self allowed back into a space of wholeness always adds to your sense of freedom, and brings a greater strength for any further challenges. This is the path of wholeness. When the freedom and joy of this is seen, then there is no need to even try for disconnections from Self. For we are complete, just as we are.