Here’s another confession I have: I dislike affirmations. Like the following:

I am important. I am the Most Important Being in Existence.

This is so because of the oneness of All That Is.

What’s there to disagree with? It goes to the heart of what humility is, what false humility is, and addresses that the perception of separation is what creates problems in the first place. It’s not about arrogance, but about letting go.

The problem is that it’s nice in theory, but the execution of getting to truly know this has its own problems.

My first taste of affirmation was as a teen. I was in a fairly screwed up family dynamic: the pushy, British stiff upper lip Borderline Personality Disorder mother (not to use labels or anything!) and being expressive, I showed my pain. This was uncomfortable for those around me, so I was sent off to healers who of course focused entirely on me. One of them, a rebirthing therapist, actually helped by doing rebirthing (conscious, connected breathing) gave me an experience of what it was like to feel intensely without too many labels. Yet another thing she did was to send me home to do affirmations. 30 of each one, handwritten on paper.

Lines.

All of them were positive, like above. All of them sounded good. Yet they also felt like punishment. Like what teachers made you do when you did something wrong.

That’s just how it was introduced to me, of course. But it’s also the essence of what an affirmation is.? It is the intellect telling the heart and body to learn something. “Hey, you! There are problems here! Learn this so the problems can go away.”

But how do you learn about the oneness of the universe and the importance of Who You Are, if you treat parts of yourself as separate from others? By shouting a command from my mind, I was treating my heart as subordinate, as the one making mistakes. And of course my heart retreated. Nothing likes to be given orders like a punished child.

There are, of course, ways to talk to the heart. And to the body. Ways in which speaking and listening become the same thing. Talk without words. Desires without expectations. Paulo Coelho calls it “The Language of the World”, the universal language. It’s the same language that enabled Siddhartha in Herman Hesse’s book to understand the universe from the sound of a river, by understanding it through this language.It’s the language of the trees in the wind when your mind stops and just observes and feels. When the mind feels and the heart thinks, and you are completely present in your body. It’s the language of Being.

So now, when I tell myself “I am important” the sense of the affirmation above, I deeply listen to the reaction of my heart. I’m not telling myself to do anything. I know I’m not mistaken or wrote in the perceiving that I’m unimportant, or even the times that it seems like this statement is a complete falsehood. I am opening myself up to Truth, which means opening myself up to my heart as well as all the reactions that come. It’s the big-T “Truth” that encompasses all the little truths, such that my heart feels pain when I really let in that possibility.

So now a conversation with my heart may look like this:

I am important. I am the Most Important Being in Existence.

Are you sure?

No. But I know it’s Truth, and I want to live it.

I know it is too, but I’m here to make sure you know it.

Is that what all this confusion and pain and believing the opposite is about?

Sure. You have to what’s not the truth before you can see the truth for yourself. For ourselves.

Even in this conversation, it is implied that my heart is something separate from who I am, and that’s obviously not the case. But that’s part of the journey of life here: we experience something as separate so that our mind can grasp just a little part of what the universe is.

It’s not equipped to see too much. But this helps us look at the little truths with more passion. The truth of the dandelion swaying in the wind. The truth of childlike wonder in running through a summer’s sprinkler and pointing it toward others in play. The truth of our own hearts. The Language of the World.

That sort of exchange is more of an affirmation of life than any exercise from an external source can be.

The bottom line is no one can truly know their importance, in an ultimate sense, until they also know that they are the universe. That is the nature of Being.

Once there was a man who felt quite compelled to finish everything he began. While this was considered a fine quality in a person, enabling many others to be able to rely upon him and thus allowing his business to swell with gratitude and pride for his abilities to keep on going with his work at all costs, it also became quite a drain for the man who would not stop. Moreover, in addition to finding he was unable to stop and therefore felt quite compelled not only to finish his work, the man who would not stop also felt quite compelled to finish everything he said.

Now as you can imagine, this man after a time found himself in many a situation wherein it would have been just as well or perhaps better if he had only the power (or, as some would begin to say, the wits) to stop talking at just the right time. But no, the man who would not stop simply went on and on. And he grew to anger many a former friend and business client because of his inability to simply stop talking when the others around him had had enough.

One day, then, the villagers in this man’s village gathered together, meeting in secret. They knew that if word got out to the man who would not stop about the meeting, all their plans would be ruined, and of course he would be unable to keep any manner of secret himself, being unable as he was to simply stop talking when it was time to do so. The villagers decided to make the man’s life hard, very hard indeed. They decided to stop giving their business to him and to instead use a man two towns over who did shoddy work that was never on time but who possessed one redeeming quality that the man who would not stop did not: the power of judicious silence.

So all the village’s business that would have ordinarily gone to the man who would not stop went to the man two towns over. And the man who would not stop was puzzled. Where were his friends? Where was his business? Where were the coins that used to come rolling in aplenty? The man who would not stop was puzzled. And then he became angry. He became so angry in fact that he simply disappeared one day in a puff of angry smoke and was never heard or seen from again.

Now, the villagers of the former man who would not stop grew puzzled themselves. They felt that perhaps something bad had happened and felt guilt in their part in creating that bad thing. And so they began to talk. They talked amongst themselves. And it was as if they were becoming, each of them, a little piece of the former man who would not stop. And the quarreling started. And fights broke out. And villagers refused to do business with neighbors they had known all their lives. And the life of the village was disrupted. No one was happy.

After a time, however, a witch decided to take up residence in the village. After all, it was just her sort of place: angry, mean, spiteful. The witch felt very happy there in the village. But the villagers grew even more suspicious. They began to blame one another for the presence of the witch and for every bad thing they thought had ever happened to them. One day, however, the witch called the villagers together and told them that she was going to tell them a secret:

If it is me you no longer wish to see, call him in from the departed again
All you need to do is allow him to be; let him speak and you set yourselves free!

The villagers were perplexed. Did the witch mean that they invite back the former man who would not stop? But he was dead, was he not? They spoke among themselves and yet soon were in agreement. They would try what the witch suggested.

And so the villagers raised a man from the dead and he did walk again among them. And he never again spoke a word. And everyone was happy.

We’re off to Tuscon to do a workshop this weekend. Even with my condition, it should be fun!

Question: I’ve come across the topic of enlightenment so often lately that I’d like a clear perspective on it. I find the idea confusing because it seems to be a worthy aim for the spiritually focused, yet it is said that those who say they are enlightened are not, and others say that it is better to work for personal maturity rather than enlightenment. Others say that it’s no fun being enlightened, while others say it’s pure bliss. So what is it really? How to get there, what does an enlightened life look like in our here and now life?

The concept of enlightenment, I find with some humor, is one which is filled with much non-enlightened thought: that is, thought based in separation and ‘ego’. Firstly, the concept is a label for an experience decidedly without labels. It is an experience of utter freedom â???? but whatever thought you have of what enlightenment is will always be accumulated from others. It is again, something someone else tells you is a better way.

Second, in most people’s thoughts it implies an end to growth, conflict, and issues. Once this magical state is achieved then there is nothing more to learn; one can live in bliss. It is thus a more new age equivalent to the concept of heaven.

Lastly, there is the assumption that enlightenment is ‘better’ than what you are experiencing at this very moment, in the Now. It is separate from what you are in this instant. It is somewhere you have to get to.

Some others’ references to enlightenment:

• In Hinduism, it is moksha, a final release from one’s worldly conception of ‘self’.
• In Buddhism, it is the end of suffering. The mind is free from craving, anger, and other afflictive states.
• In David Hawkins’ levels of consciousness in Power versus Force, it is the level at which non-duality is perceived.

It is the latter which seems to describe it for me, but there is of course value in all of them. When reading, it is always easy to intellectualize the concepts, which is very hazardous when dealing with something beyond the intellect. The key is the usage of perception in the description. It is not something you take a pill for, to transmute “bad” energies into “good” ones.

Channeling

To give the perspective from the “other side”, we asked about enlightenment when channeling :

We find no particular merit to the term ‘enlightenment’ other than in acknowledging for you the possibility for greater awareness of Love. You are already complete simply as you are. By this, we mean that you are All That Is, and nothing less.

Within this completeness, of course, is a universe of range for experience and perception. You can experience complete separateness and disunity. You can never actually be less than All That Is, but within your entire being you can experience extremely limited perceptions.

The perception that most people would call ‘enlightenment’ is simply an awareness of the fundamental interconnection of All That Is. Because it is a perception, from this state there is nothing that happens to you (an external force operating upon you) but rather simply experiences of you meeting your Self. Externally this looks identical.

There is thus no true need to transform negative emotions or thoughts, because you are All That Is, which includes them. Having different perceptions of what these energies are leads to radically different experiences. It is hard to see the interconnection and oneness of All That Is while disowning parts of yourself, but it is still possible to choose this. Indeed, while having expanded perception you see the beauty and wonder of all choices.

This perception is of course not an end, but rather a beginning. Greater perceptual awareness will always lead to more energy, more growth, more freedom, and more possibility. The perception of oneness is not the same as the experience of it, which is what the soul craves; to know Self through experience. This you are already doing.

And so, we wish you to understand that you are already engaged in the process of knowing and loving your Self, whatever you may be doing. Enjoy your process. It is the process that is important, not the “result”. From here comes the old adage: you are already enlightened, but you simply do not perceive Who You Are.

Those who advertise

It is of course true that those who advertise their state as enlightenment as ‘better’ are not likely to be in this state, for then they would not see it as ‘better’. It may be there are those who perceive true oneness are in a state of pain. Ramana Maharishi had painful cancer in the final year of his life, but was said to be peaceful and serene through the pain. Again, it is the Zen koan: “Zen is like a finger pointing at the Moon”. It is much more helpful to know the moon: point towards your Self.

And so if you perceive Who You Are, are you really any different? Is it any better? Again, that is your choice. There is nothing lost and nothing gained, for you are always Who You Are.

Many think of letting go as either a psychological process or a sacrifice. We’re often told to ‘let go’ of struggles and desires after things don’t work out. Buddhist teachings can advocate us to ‘let go’ of attachments. Though this is in essence a very positive thing, in many I’ve tried to help these thoughts can lead to a subtle force of conformity directed at the Self. There is a sense that one should change in order to let go. One should conform to the image of non-attachment. However, this creates a backlash: any kind of desire to change one’s self causes resistance in response. This was part of the true teaching of Siddhartha Gautama, which has been left to us as ‘desire causes suffering’.

Instead of thinking of letting this way, look at it in a new light: as surrender. That is, as the release of all expectations and desires to control the experiences in life. In letting go, there is a complete surrender and trust to the expansive magnitude of the present moment. This is a space which can be called “The Void”, as described in a previous post. Because of the absence of expectations and control, there is an expanse of pure openness present. This is like the darkness before the dawn; anything can come from that space. It is a supply of pure potential, of mythology and dreams and abandon all at once. The birth of the universe is literally there when there is no attempt at control, and new directions in life can appear in a moment’s notice. These are the benefits of ‘dark nights of the soul’.

In my own life, this has been a great season for letting go. I got let go from my job, I’m having a serious illness where I can’t walk without stumbling and get disoriented easily from walking a few hundred feet. Long seated emotions from abuse in childhood have been coming up along with all the emotions attached to them – volumes of sadness, rage, and self-hatred. Even though these changes have limited me in so many ways â???? my career, health, and emotional well being â???? there is not a helpless feeling surrounding them. In a strange way, surrender is extremely empowering.

Surrendering completely to an experience is something that requires great trust. For instance, say I am having doubts as to myself being a ‘good person’ because of childhood abuse. I have angry, shameful, and painful feelings towards myself and others, and the thoughts arising from this feeling-world are in conflict : some believe these feelings and support them, while others don’t and say that these conclusions are wrong. The thoughts are at war. I may create affirmations for myself surrounding my own worth, but these merely support one side in this war. Even if that side wins, it will only be a temporary victory; no one can ever destroy any part of themselves, only suppress it for a time. Surrender goes beyond sides; it goes beyond duality. It is seeing the oneness of both ‘sides’, and inviting this into a daily experience.

True surrender involves letting go of all preconceived notions. This means that to surrender to the experience of self-doubt, anger and shame, one must let go of any thoughts that joy is better â???? or even that joy exists. For that one terrifying moment of true surrender, there is nothing else other than the experience in front of you. If it is pain, there is nothing but pain. If there are attacking thoughts, there is nothing but them. There is an openness to concluding that I’m ‘bad’ if that’s what I see. All of this arises from an immense soul-driven commitment to know the truth about Self, no matter what.

It is the desire for Truth above all else that drives us to know Love.

The paradox of surrender is that the more you surrender to uncomfortable experiences, the more you will rest in joy. This is not truly a paradox, but merely an expression of what joy is, as also described previously. Joy is your natural state; a state of not resisting. Whenever there is no resistance, no matter what is the experience, there will be a quality of joy.

This also relates to what knowing is. Within the experience of surrender, which is to say within the experience of not knowing, is a deep knowledge. This is beyond the knowledge of things, of labels, of science and form. This is the knowledge of experience, of seeing how the flow of life moves within you. It is this knowledge that forever ingrains a fundamental trust in the universe, and it is this trust which dispels fear.

Put more succinctly:

Only those who are certain of nothing can ever truly Know.

Let us speak to you today on the topic of compassion. Understand that when we use this term, we would like to refer to it as ‘an expression of Love’. Compassion is, in our perception, a melding of one’s energy with another’s. A combining to create something new that didn’t exist before. This new creation of energy as a combination of yours and another’s unites you, creates a bond between you. Over time, this act of creation between two people takes on a life of its own in some ways. But regardless of the length of time of the melding of energies, there does exist to varying degrees an understanding, awareness, acknowledgment, and acceptance of the state the other is in at that present moment. This acceptance for the state of another, whatever state that may be, is what we see as compassion.

This implies, of course, that there is no need to do anything on either side. Neither party involved in an act of compassion – or an experience of compassion – need do anything other than exist in that present moment. In other words, all that either party need do is simply allow the moment to take place. This, then, is acceptance.

As you might imagine, compassion manifests in many different ways; mainly in ways which you are unaware of the time. One may have compassion for anther person, for a group, or a community, or for an entire state of being that affects many people. Keep in mind that compassion is not one-sided. It is not something one does, or does not do, or has, or does not have. It is simply a state of allowing acceptance for a state of being to unfold and take place.

The concept commonly known today as ‘compassion’ connotes a lack of acceptance. It is implies that change is needed. There may be love there, but with that love is a lack of complete acceptance for the state that exists in that present moment. When one feels what is termed ‘compassion’ for, for instance, a legless man on a street in a third world country, typically one wishes to do something to aid them in their suffering. What we see as compassion, however, is simply accepting that state, however horrible it appears, as a state of perfection in that moment. Again, this creates an energy entity, a new creation of life itself, that combining with all the other energy entities in all the myriad acts of compassion in any given moment. It creates a domino effect comprised of Love. This domino effect of course triggers further acts of compassion.

Driving down the street you see an apparently homeless person digging in a trashcan. It’s a mere glance as your car speeds through the darkness to the light of your own warm home. This mere glance doesn’t cause you to wonder about where the person will sleep tonight, what they are eating or not eating, what their past may have been light. No, you simply see a scene and continue moving on in your own path. That is compassion.

Children manifest compassion naturally. What is termed ‘a child’s innocent curiosity about others’ is really a manifestation of compassion. Children are naturally curious about those who have a different appearance from their own. There is no judgment in this curiosity. It is simply an acknowledgment of What Is. That is compassion. A cat stalks a bird out in the garden. The cat’s whiskers twitch with anticipations. The bird hops about, blithely hunting for seeds, unaware of its imminent doom. That is compassion. For each acknowledges the perfection of the state the other is in.

Question: There are those who will interpret the above as an excuse not to have to do anything when faced with real pain such as starvation, violence, or social injustice. What’s the difference between this and indifference, if it looks the same in the world?

Indifference is an intentional act of non-acceptance. It’s a turning away, a resistance to What Is. It’s true that on the face of it, indifference appears much like true compassion. But the energetic difference is felt on all sides. Indifference does not feed into the domino effect of Love, for instance. However, when faced with real problems such as poverty, violence, starvation, one can have compassion and act at the same time. The action does not deny the acknowledgment of the perfection of that state. The action simply helps create new pathways along which that state of perfection can move. Each of you is moved to act when faced with certain triggering dilemmas. Each of you has his own benchmark that moves you from indifference to caring. In the wider perspective, however, again we state that there is no obligation to act. There is no need to do anything when faced with these problems, but we do see the entirety of human experience as perfection. Joy and violence exist within the same sphere of human experience, and to us, all human experience is an expression of Love. We hold you with compassion for we see you as perfect in every moment. That is not to say that we do not acknowledge the transformation you undergo all the time, but there is no need for change, no need to do anything other than simply exist. And even that is a matter of choice as well.

Question: What happens when you try to help others out of guilt or obligation? How is this different?

When one performs a charitable act based on a sense of rightness, duty, obligation, energetically this creates a void becomes there is an expectation of change that comes along with the act. The recipient is bewildered by this, perhaps not consciously, but feels a sense of expectation, yet has no direction to move. All of you have experienced what this feels like. An act of true compassion, on the other hand rides on acceptance and the energy remains in balance. There is a letting go of all expectations in the allowing of What Is that is compassion.

Do you have general questions you’d like to ask that you’d like to see channeling on? You’re welcome to use the Contact Form!

Thanks to Albert the Urban Monk,Wade of The Middle Way, and Kenton of Zen-Inspired Self Development for initiating this group writing project on the topic of compassion. I also recommend The Empowered Soul blog for their writing on this topic.

There is another post on this subject!

For further reading, please see Part 2 on Compassion!? Thank you!

How do you form new identities when there are expectations other people place, in terms of maintaining an identity? How do you find ways of letting go to holding on to that and allowing more of yourself to come through?

To answer this, let’s first look at what identity is. The etymology of the word comes from the Latin words for “sameness” and “over and over’. This in itself gives a good picture of it - a fixated pattern or image that can be repeated over and over. It can be looked at as a temporary protection against the unknown. Where there is the dark unknown and the feeling of helplessness come from it, then terror appears, and so there is a desire to control that comes from this. Identity is the standard result.

Because of the nature of interconnection mentioned in previous articles, identities are not isolated towers etched in stone. Your identity depends on the interactions you have with others, particularly intimate relationships. The degree of ‘sameness’ and repetition of behavior in relationships creates safety and protection more firmly than any amount of home security. Conversely, when someone’s behavior and identity fluctuates without agreement from everyone involved, a sense of betrayal and threat is often the results. When you question your identity, ripples flow outward that invite everyone surrounding you to also question their own identity. For some, this is incredibly fearful. To real degree, this can feel if one’s life is about to end – because in some ways, it is.

Identity, therefore, is central to the perception of isolation and separateness that human beings are subject to. If you hardwire your perception of Self to be a fixed collection of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, then you will automatically disconnect from all beings that are not this collection. You may see this in such actions as politics; the identity is so strong, so dependent on connections with others of like mind that the disconnect then it is quite likely that those on the ‘other side’ are disconnected from to such a degree that their humanness is no longer seen. When taken to its natural extreme, this can cause violence and wars.

The problems do not come from any idea of what you are, but always from what you are not. If you deny connections, whether to others or within yourself, you are in fact wielding a scalpel, surgically cutting yourself off from the universe. This is violence. This is an attack, both at the world and at the Self. There is no outward form of violence that does not directly come from this core split.

To work with this, we suggest an exercise adapted from Thich Naht Hahn :

When you meet something, instead of a label which implies separation such as ‘tree’, ‘house’, or ‘road’, state instead that you are what you see. ‘I am this’ is a good phrase, or a statement of ‘I am a tree’ when you meet one. Rather than this be something enforced on your mind, expand outward to breath in the essence of what you are seeing.

Another way to do this is via the practice of mindful eating. Your absolute interconnection is not simply with what you see, but everything that is connected to what you see as well. An example would be the eating of brown rice. (preferably organic!). As you are eating, feeling the soft fibers in your tongue, invite the perception that you are the rice, and that you are enjoying changing form to help preserve life. You are the plants in the field that produced this output. You are the workers that cultivated the food. You are the sunlight that gave life to this plant. You are the water that irrigated the field. You are the rain and sky that brought the rivers. You are the people that package and brought the rice to you. You are even the animals that ate from the field before it was cultivated. You are all that.

Imagine then, that with every bite you are taking, you are affirming your connection to the earth, the plants on it, the sun, the animals, and every human being interconnected on it. This connection is in every bite of food, and indeed in every breath you take. Living with this connection at a conscious level is an ever present source of joy.

In this exercise, the ‘who you are’ is absolutely inclusive, and thus without violence. There is nothing you are not, and thus nothing you have to use force to separate yourself from. This is where true power comes from. If you have difficulty feeling this connection in this exercise, then we suggest trying it again in a natural setting, where animals can be viewed. Animals naturally feel this interconnection as part of their way of being, and can be great teachers in this. Children can be as well.

‘Letting go of identity’ is therefore not a true letting go. There is in fact no need to let go of who you are â???? only to let go of the perception of what you are not. You may in fact be a professional, reliable person who doesn’t want to impose on others, but you may also be a human being who has pain inside and deserves the chance to make mistakes, get angry, and be wrong.

If you decide to undergo on the path of expanding your identity, take caution, for the ripples this path creates can create much reaction in others. In fact, we advocate asking those close to you for permission first, even if in your own mind or in a dream state. Leaving behind past shelters of identity is usually a terrifying undertaking, and it is good to prepare and gain support beforehand. But it is good to remember that it is always in the unknown that true experience of Love resides, and this is why terror is often experienced before Love is. And it is in the expansion of Self â???? not the destruction of it â???? that Love is experienced. Your awareness of identity can expand to where your identity is your family, the community, the earth, and the universe. This is in fact what is true at this very moment, and we invite you to rejoin with your birthright.

These connections with others are a foundational part of living. Without them, we would quite literally go insane or feel tormented, as those in solitary confinement in prison sometimes do. Exploring connections is hard wired into our bodies, and even when lives of relative isolation are lived, there will always be an element of this exploration.

Exploring longer term connections, the depth of them, is termed ‘a relationship‘. We all have different preconceptions of what a relationship is – as many preconceptions as the word ‘love’. It is in longer term relationships that we meet the dichotomy between these preconceptions and what is head on. Conflict can be the natural result. We also see how much the ideal of ‘relationship’ we have works within ourselves, for we can try to fit ourselves in a mold very easily in an attempt for intimacy. It is a dance with essentially the present moment, Now.

In this dance of intimacy, which can also be termed ‘knowing the Self’, I’ve identified two fundamental forces and motivations based in Love:

• Knowing Love through interconnection. This is the desire to know one’s wholeness and completion through seeing how fundamentally interconnected we are with others. We connect with others via sharing ideas, emotions, and space, and feel the joy that comes from this experience of oneness in whatever form it takes. It is a desire to fully experience the knowledge that you are not separate from anything in the universe.
• Knowing Love through autonomy. This is the desire to experience wholeness simply by being exactly who you are in this moment. In other words, it is the sure knowledge there is nothing lacking in you, and that nothing can be found in another that cannot be found in the Self. There is thus no empty need for connections with others. There is nothing you can ‘get’ you cannot find already there, and so there is no need for any pretense in order to gain anything externally. All of the universe is within you.

These two forces sound diametrically in opposition. Most people place more emphasis on one than the other; some are focused on new experiences and connections at all costs, and yet others are about maintaining and building identity. Yet the paradox involved in all this is that they are not separate at all. Wholeness is found both in the universe and in the Self, without conflict. ‘As within, so without’ was the maxim of the alchemists studying inner transformation. This has parallels to the psychological concept in Bowen family systems theory of differentiation. A healthy balance is obtained by a core self that is maintained in the midst of stress and deep connection. The oneness of the above concepts shows itself in the world through the fact that the depth of your connection with others is always equal to the depth of connection you have with your Self. Again, this is not theory, and it is not simply in the long term. It is a truism of every moment of your life. When you lose connection with Self, you may indeed feel ‘highs’ of connection with others, which can feel as intense as opiates. But this connection always feels around the corner, not Now. This law of connection is itself an expression of the oneness of the universe.

Relationships are the most visible manifestation of this oneness. If a man feels inner lack, or emptiness inside from not being connected to Self, then it is common to seek someone in a relationship to fill this apparent void. He might even obsessively seek more and more connections with others, seeking to know wholeness through the eyes of many others. But because of the utter unity of inner relationship with the Self and outer relationships with others, this soon manifests as co-dependency, conflict or other ‘problems’, even in short term relationships. I also see this in nightclubs and dance events; when others are in close proximity and there is no firm knowledge of Self (autonomy), then there is a natural diving into others that is in essence a giving away of the birthright of knowing wholeness. It often pleasurable, but it will always contain seeds of experiencing the separation the action comes out of. This is not a punishment, but a continual invitation to know Self.

The other side of it is common to those involved in spiritual quests, as I was:

When I was in my twenties, I was coming out of a very isolated and empty family. Because of the framework and pains I had accumulated through childhood, connections with others were painful, and I thought that heavy meditation was the answer. Eventually I would ‘get it’ and find enlightenment. I was determined to find the wholeness in myself, so I would retreat into long meditations and avoid connections with others until I obtained this. Of course, the denial of the interconnection with others led to even more disconnections within. Depression continued and I thought that I must not be meditating hard enough. It took a lengthy trip to India to see that I was literally trying to cut off part of myself in order to find ‘wholeness’. This in itself was violence to myself, and it took me some time to recognize this. On my return from India, I immediately dived into a tumultuous and emotionally heavy relationship, which was necessary on my path to balance and knowing Self.

The ultimate expression of Love in this world, is seeing another as Self. This is not a theoretical statement, but a simple expression of the non-duality that is underlying all of life. If you look at the two forces described above, in fact the only way of harmonizing them without conflict is through this perceptional transformation. This is in fact what the root of the Hindi word ‘Namaste’ is. I see that we are truly one, and I honor this unity.

You could think of a third force in addition to the two above, a neutral force. This is referred to as “the observer”, “the ether”, etc. It is a state of potential, of simply being and allowing. It provides the framework that lets harmonization occur, where “the observer becomes the observed”, as Krishnamurthi said.

So then, given this state of the universe, how do we experience this oneness? How do we know Self, and truly experience the joys of the interconnection with all aspects of life? According to Gandhi, ‘The ends are the means’. As superficial as it sounds, it is good to ask yourself how you would act if you knew the truths above in every aspect of your being. Would you still look for the same distractions? Would you not look in the eyes of those surrounding you in life? Would you still have the same short, shallow breath through much of your day that keeps you from experiencing what is actually going on in the present moment?

There is no substitute for experience, and the greatest lessons are always obtained by completely being present in life, without any escapes or attempts to be anywhere else but Here or Now. When disconnections have been built, it is of course natural that the first experiences would be painful, but this is nothing more than an awakening of awareness. And it is through awareness â???? being fully and utterly conscious of Self and others in their completeness â???? that Love is manifested on this Earth. Is this not what we all wish to bring?