emotions

14 12, 2017

Feelings are always right

December 14th, 2017|emotions, Intimacy, non-monogamy, relationships|1 Comment

Intense feelings can literally be an intense pain in your gut. They’re hard to sit through on your own, and they’re often a cause of conflict and stress with others.  And even when they’re not intense, they can often be socially inappropriate, leading people to lie either verbally or with our body language.  So it’s easy to think of them as problems, pushing them away and trying to be ‘rational’.

But pushing them away causes even more buildup and problems.  And in the aftermath of #metoo, with the public acknowledgement of decades of hurt and resentment laying there for many, it is vitally important we find ways to actually work with the quagmire of built up feelings. This means going beyond venting and online shaming – many groups perhaps have a deep need for their own version of Truth and Reconciliation. This by necessity means working with what’s going on, deep in our brains and bodies, in a way that promotes actual transformation and doesn’t see them in a negative light.

5 10, 2013

Working with Shame

October 5th, 2013|dealing with life, emotions, love|2 Comments

Shame is something that permeates our culture. Advertising preys on shame of one’s body. Dr. Gabor Mate, who works with the heavily addicted, says shame is the “one constant among addicts of all types“. It fuels much avoidant behavior such as procrastination and can be the prime impetus behind relationship breakups and lack of intimacy.

This year I have looked into my own shame and doing my best to directly experience it. By that I don’t mean jump into “healing”, which is often the attempt to get rid of it. Years ago, when I wrote and said thousands of daily affirmations of my worth and inner beauty, I ended up feeling worse about myself. To me, that kind of healing leads to feeling ashamed of one’s own shame, a feedback loop, which is unfortunately pervasive given the prevalence of pop psychology and the “quick fix”.

But what is shame? Joseph Burgo defines same as the sense of internal damage. I define shame as the following:

Shame is the feeling or body memory that you cannot be connected with others, or yourself, so long as a part of you is present. It’s the sense of a split within one’s self, the feeling that a part of you shouldn’t be there.

Say you grew up, as I did, in an emotionally repressed family where there was a heavy reaction to an expression of anger or a “go away” message. If I rejected my mother, either by saying I didn’t like something she did to me or that I didn’t want to talk now, she would react by pushing me away violently, even implying the relationship might end. Even showing this emotion on my face without vocalizing it provoked a reaction. This was her own hurt, but of course as a young child I didn’t know this – I internalized it. It became part of my body and brain.

There are times I find it hard to even feel that energy; it ended up being blocked from my consciousness, with sometimes severe internal reactions and symptoms as a result. Connection with my family was more important than self-connection, and this created pathways in the brain short-circuiting that energy. Though I’ve done much work with myself, I still feel shame regarding this; my body believes people will cut me out of their lives if I let it be visible.

This can happen in shame-1251333-1280x960work too: a friend of mine was talking about procrastination in learning a new skill for a client. There was a deadline for getting a project done and she needed to become adept in a new software utility that she hadn’t used before. For years she had been used to being highly skilled in what she did; the sense of not being an expert already was very uncomfortable to her, and it was far too easy to avoid that discomfort by procrastinating. Even when she devoted time to acquire the new skills, the learning was slower than when she had been a student. Upon talking about it, saw the basis of this behavior was the sense that she needed to be an expert to be worthy of the connection with the client. Not knowing everything, being less than perfect, was not acceptable – the client might drop her. The connection wouldn’t be there. There was no quick ability to not feel this, so the easiest thing to do in the moment was to focus attention anywhere else, rather than wade through the emotional quagmire of shame.

Sexual attraction is another magnet for shame. It’s something that easily cross-reacts with inadequacies of beauty or worth. I still have feelings that my partner may cut off from me and end the relationship if I fully admit, beyond an intellectual confession, that I feel a serious attraction to someone. So in the past, rather than admit it fully, I have intellectualized it or numbed that part of me, which led to distance and lack of trust. Another option for me that many do (and I’m glad I haven’t) would be to act it out – rather than admitting or feeling the shame, I could try to act on the attraction and start something while not showing it to my partner, thus trying in an unconscious and unhealthy way to not numb a part of myself while still remaining connected to her. It’s the shadow side of trying to resolve shame. If anything happened, I would likely feel more disconnected from her because I would have to hide more and more parts of my life. If I confessed it after time, the anger she would feel upon discovery, mostly based on the deceit, would be tied to the original shame and add to it. Thus shame grows.

The movie “Shame” made in 2011 with Michael Fassbender depicts the shame underlying sexual addiction amazingly well.

The dark side of the growth of psychology and this culture’s lack of time and space for just feeling things as they are is that we want the quick fix. Feeling any shame that’s there doesn’t make it immediately better.  Culturally there’s an incredible discomfort around it, which can lead to a subtle ostracising.  Rather than being present with shame and giving space, we ask loved ones to “see someone about it”, to find a solution by thinking positive thoughts, or make more rules so as not to bring it up. But since the source of shame is from feeling disconnected, what we deeply need is the experience of being connected while feeling shame and the original source.

What brings on this feeling of connection and working with shame? From my experience, we need to first truly feel the shame and whatever is bringing on the shame, without intellectualizing or compartmentalizing it. It has to be brought to the surface, in our bodies, face, voice and breath. This means going beyond any kind of sit-down therapy structure. Then, someone needs to be there and be open for a connection without any kind of attempt to resolve the source of the shame. There needs to be space for the emotion, thoughts or impulses with no action to change them, while truly being there and available. This is itself a form of meditation.

A couple months ago, while in a very emotional state (I won’t go into the trigger here), I called my girlfriend Kirsten for help. It was an agonizing decision for me, as I grew up feeling I should be the one supporting others, but at the time I truly felt lost and knew I couldn’t move anything alone. She dropped everything and came. As soon as she was next to me, I started bawling. I confessed how ashamed I was of asking for support, and then how ashamed I was of feeling shame, like I needed to do something to make it better so I could be a healthy person. She was simply present with me. I confessed I felt like there was always a price for support. Inside, I was feeling that I needed to please others in order to be worth getting any kind of love, and sex had been a major part of that with women, giving them pleasure when I didn’t necessarily feel into it. I told her I didn’t want sex now, and felt so much shame at admitting that, continuing my bawling. She simply listened. She backed away physically when I wanted it, and held me close when that felt good to me. She was absolutely wonderful at remaining connected without any price. I didn’t need to heal, say the right thing or make it worth her while to be there for me. She was a friend. She wasn’t even playing a role of “healer”, breathing the right way or watching what she said. All she did was show that mattered to her – me, not the role I played in her life.

This was a pivotal shift for me. As it turns out, I didn’t want sex for close to a month afterwards while I processed the internal shifts – which related to past sexual abuse, being treated like a “thing”. That in itself was very unusual for me. It made it easier for her that we are in an open relationship and she could, if she wanted, fulfil needs elsewhere – another dynamic which has helped me work with shame. But that, along with other experiences, brought the body knowledge that I could still be connected while revealing shame without having to play a role of strength, humour, health or comforting others. This has led to a huge foundation of trust and friendship. It’s amazing how many sexual relationships don’t have that.

I’ve also had dyads with a number of people. This is where you sit in a meditational manner facing each other, being present for 10 minutes or so before talking, connecting to one’s breath and body, and each person taking turns asking a simple question and listening. When it’s your turn, you speak slowly and with self-connection about your experience and insights while the other listens and is present in their own self. One of the questions asked was about the “sense of self in relationships”. That’s a prime question related to shame – when do you lose that sense of self-connection, where you’re not hiding or altering anything inside? When do you feel you’re walking on eggshells, controlling everything coming out because you feel it would harm the relationship? And it was wonderful just practicing revealing myself without guile, showing how “imperfect” I am and getting to a place that this is just fine. It doesn’t need to change.

It’s also led to a different place in being there for others. Largely arising from my narcissistic mother, I had felt that I needed to be playing a role when giving support to others. Internally I had the belief that had to suppress my own issues, not feel anything “unsupportive” like anger or resentment from my past (even if unrelated to them), in order to be helpful. This made me far from present and created a tense feeling; because I was not relaxed, I couldn’t help friends be relaxed. Not being in a state of allowing with my own emotions at the time, I could never truly convey that their emotions were just fine as they are. I was saying the “right things”, which probably made them feel like they had to say the “right things” in response. While I don’t have any scientific data, I think this is what the vast majority of therapeutic sit-down relationships are like this. So many healing achievers!

The lessening of shame has led me to more feelings of joy because by not disconnecting from myself, there’s more wholeness. I can joke around with it more, even bring some clownishness. What a feeling of freedom that is. And I’m just getting started.

 

 

 

5 03, 2009

The Most Important Being in Existence

March 5th, 2009|dealing with life, emotions, love, non duality, Self, spirituality|0 Comments

It’s been a long, long time since I wrote anything here. Quick update: yes, this illness is still going on and there are many times I can’t write, and some times I find it hard to speak. It’s also intensifying the inner journey and transformation. So it’s not a bad thing.


Here’s another confession I have: I dislike affirmations. Like the following:

 

I am important. I am the Most Important Being in Existence.

This is so because of the oneness of All That Is.

What’s there to disagree with? It goes to the heart of what humility is, what false humility is, and addresses that the perception of separation is what creates problems in the first place. It’s not about arrogance, but about letting go.

The problem is that it’s nice in theory, but the execution of getting to truly know this has its own problems.

My first taste of affirmation was as a teen. I was in a fairly screwed up family dynamic: the pushy, British stiff upper lip Borderline Personality Disorder mother (not to use labels or anything!) and being expressive, I showed my pain. This was uncomfortable for those around me, so I was sent off to healers who of course focused entirely on me. One of them, a rebirthing therapist, actually helped by doing rebirthing (conscious, connected breathing) gave me an experience of what it was like to feel intensely without too many labels. Yet another thing she did was to send me home to do affirmations. 30 of each one, handwritten on paper.

Lines.

All of them were positive, like above. All of them sounded good. Yet they also felt like punishment. Like what teachers made you do when you did something wrong.

That’s just how it was introduced to me, of course. But it’s also the essence of what an affirmation is.? It is the intellect telling the heart and body to learn something. “Hey, you! There are problems here! Learn this so the problems can go away.”

But how do you learn about the oneness of the universe and the importance of Who You Are, if you treat parts of yourself as separate from others? By shouting a command from my mind, I was treating my heart as subordinate, as the one making mistakes. And of course my heart retreated. Nothing likes to be given orders like a punished child.

919567_innerpeace_1There are, of course, ways to talk to the heart. And to the body. Ways in which speaking and listening become the same thing. Talk without words. Desires without expectations. Paulo Coelho calls it “The Language of the World”, the universal language. It’s the same language that enabled Siddhartha in Herman Hesse’s book to understand the universe from the sound of a river, by understanding it through this language.It’s the language of the trees in the wind when your mind stops and just observes and feels. When the mind feels and the heart thinks, and you are completely present in your body. It’s the language of Being.

So now, when I tell myself “I am important” the sense of the affirmation above, I deeply listen to the reaction of my heart. I’m not telling myself to do anything. I know I’m not mistaken or wrote in the perceiving that I’m unimportant, or even the times that it seems like this statement is a complete falsehood. I am opening myself up to Truth, which means opening myself up to my heart as well as all the reactions that come. It’s the big-T “Truth” that encompasses all the little truths, such that my heart feels pain when I really let in that possibility.

So now a conversation with my heart may look like this:

I am important. I am the Most Important Being in Existence.

Are you sure?

No. But I know it’s Truth, and I want to live it.

I know it is too, but I’m here to make sure you know it.

Is that what all this confusion and pain and believing the opposite is about?

Sure. You have to what’s not the truth before you can see the truth for yourself. For ourselves.

Even in this conversation, it is implied that my heart is something separate from who I am, and that’s obviously not the case. But that’s part of the journey of life here: we experience something as separate so that our mind can grasp just a little part of what the universe is.

It’s not equipped to see too much. But this helps us look at the little truths with more passion. The truth of the dandelion swaying in the wind. The truth of childlike wonder in running through a summer’s sprinkler and pointing it toward others in play. The truth of our own hearts. The Language of the World.

That sort of exchange is more of an affirmation of life than any exercise from an external source can be.

The bottom line is no one can truly know their importance, in an ultimate sense, until they also know that they are the universe. That is the nature of Being.

3 05, 2008

The flame of blame

May 3rd, 2008|buddhism, emotions, Intimacy, love, pain, relationships, transformation, wholeness|4 Comments

I don’t know about the rest of you, but past months have had some wild emotional swings to it, and some days I’ve felt as depressed and dark as I have felt in my life. It doesn’t help that my mobility is very limited by this illness which continues, of course!

One big issue of being online a good deal is the blame game. You know the story: you don’t see the other person face to face to see their inflections, so you can easily interpret words in a way very different than the other intended. Then this triggers emotions, and of course this means that the other person must have issues – or at least should have said things differently. It’s them, not me! This is not just online; it is reproduced all through our culture at all levels, as demonstrated by one of my own thoughts not so long ago:

“Why am I feeling so awful, like I’m being hit by something again and again? Let me look at what’s happened to me recently. It must be because of one of those things. Well, my best guess is you, so I’ll go with that.”

Blame

One definition of the word blame is simply “to hold responsible“. The more standard usage of the word is more “to assign fault” – but I like the responsibility aspect more. I’ll get into that later.

Now, what’s wrong with that thought I had? Aha – there is nothing wrong, for that would be blaming in itself! But if you look deeply at my mental processes, there was an assumption that there was a cause, a singular factor that produced my state, and that changing this one ingredient in the broth would change everything.

It’s all very well to say “do not blame” as an unspoken commandment of maturity. But if you look deeply at this urging, there’s a blaming aspect in that too. So what if you do blame? That makes you ‘wrong’. And thus you start blaming yourself for blaming.

Some of the online discussions that I’ve seen lately have quoted “let he who has not sinned cast the first stone” as a way to shut up and hold responsibility to someone who brought an issue to the public eye with a little bit of blaming. But of course, directing blame to those with some blame doesn’t help move out of it. In fact, the use of that quote for such a purpose is quite ironic, is it not?

Responsibility

Rather than continue to focus on the word “blame”, I prefer to use “responsibility”. Blame is a loaded term; you hear it and you think “bad! evil! I can’t have that!”. But if you think in terms of holding someone responsible, perhaps you can look at it differently. So let’s look at one basic thought here:

“You are responsible for these feelings in me.”

This is one of the most common thoughts in relationship fights. It’s happened in talks with my own mother countless times, which probably makes me rather normal. It’s happened with friends and strangers, on both sides. Yet beyond the pervasiveness of it, I hope you can see that it is never true. How can someone else have responsibility for my emotions? They may have an effect on me, but so does the weather, the day at work, back pain, getting interrupted by telemarketers, and so on. There is no way to isolate another person’s effect on you, and there is certainly no way another can avoid triggering me at all times. In Buddhism, this falls largely under the thought of dependent origination; there are so many factors involved that it is impossible to truly isolate a cause. And yet we do this because we seem to need to. Assigning responsibility is just another form of the blame game.

Some people see this, see the futility of blaming others, and then go the other direction. “I am always the one responsible for my experience.” While this sounds empowering, what happens if you have one of the darker days of your life? What if someone yells at you and you feel awful? What if you get let go from a job for economic reasons? Are you responsible for this, in the sense that we’ve talked about? This is a heavy burden to take on, if you think this way. While appearing noble and mature, it is in fact a way to blame yourself. Culturally, this may get you pats on the back, the image of maturity, and sympathy from friends, but it is absolutely unnecessary.

Letting go of it all

It is impossible to not blame when you have any thought of assigning responsibility to anyone or anything.

Let us repeat that: By assigning responsibility to anyone or anything for a given result, you are assigning blame. It is the need to look for a cause for an experience that is the major factor in blame. So if you want to let go of the blaming process, you must let go of a need to assign responsibility.

You may be thinking now, “But what is life like without this? Isn’t our culture based on people being responsible for their actions? Wouldn’t the world go to hell if there wasn’t responsibility placed for everything?”

In a word, no. Keep in mind that we’re talking about mental processes here. Much in the same way there’s a difference between the physical sensation of main and the experience of suffering, there is a major difference between the natural consequences of one’s actions and assigned responsibility. Consequences are how we learn and grow. There is no way that these can stop. However, the mental “it’s because of him” thought process can stop.

Eckhart Tolle, who’s been very friendly with Oprah recently, bases his entire teaching on being completely present in the Now. In other words, it is by surrendering to the experiences of living with such utter completeness that you can work on letting go of the ego-mind and the pain-body. This applies especially to the times when you are immersed in pain, anger, and the attribution of this to something.

So how does this relate to what I’ve been saying? It is simply that the root of the need to assign responsibility and blame is the desire to avoid whatever experience you are going through. If you have peace and equanimity about what was brought up, you would simply let them be there, and they will move on as all experiences do. But when there is a desire to avoid the experience, then you must find a reason for it so as to control future experiences to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Again, any time there is blame, there is always a lack of surrender to an experience. It is this resistance that creates the labels of ‘bad’ which turn into the desire to control events and hold someone accountable. When a feeling is seen as just a feeling – no matter how uncomfortable it is – then it enables you to move away from the perception of blame into a more expansive perception. Ironically, this expanded perception also enables you to make more conscious choices in your life about what experiences you wish to attract. In other words, it is by letting go of control that you can choose your life more consciously.

The wrap up

Working on the blaming tendency is not a simple “oh, just stop doing it.”? It is a lifelong process.? It is also connected with so many things; the journey to balance the centers, mentioned in the last article, is very connected with it.? But let us end with something simple.

So the next time you are in a situation where you want to blame, ask yourself these questions:

  • What experience do I want to avoid at this moment?
  • What, exactly, am I labeling as “bad” here?
  • What would happen if I simply allowed that experience and what is “bad” to be present to the ultimate degree?
  • What would happen if there were no labels at all?

There is no magical solution to blame; all such attempts will naturally have blame in them, because they will be based in the labeling of blame as ‘bad’. It is the allowing of Self and others, simply as they are, that is the different path to blame.

27 04, 2008

Balancing the centers of your body, part 1

April 27th, 2008|beauty, channeling, emotions, exercises, transformation|4 Comments

Centers and Balancing Them

Centers are a concept that is intuitively known to everyone, though not necessarily by that name. We know almost immediately when interacting with someone: Is this person a “head” person? Or are they a “heart” person? Or a “body-centric” person. This is the same as being Intellectually Centered, Emotionally centered, or Moving centered, respectively.


Expanding this, centers essentially little energetic ‘computers’ in which the experiences we live are filtered, processed, and delivered to our consciousness. There are 7 centers in all, although there are mainly three most people consciously interact with on a regular basis. These three are essentially summed up as “heart, mind, and body”. In the Michael system, these correspond to the emotional, intellectual, and moving centers. The Gurdjieff system – and many other systems, such as NLP – also have analogous concepts.

This article will mostly deal with these 3 most commonly used centers and partly with the Instinctive center. The instinctive center, loosely speaking, is the center that supports all the other centers by keeping the body alive via instinct and keeping records of experiences. The remaining 3 centers â???? Higher Intellectual, Higher Emotional, and Higher Moving centers â???? are explained elsewhere. However, balancing the 3 ‘lower’ centers is an effective tool to enable you to access the higher centers.

One interpretation of why they are called ‘centers’ is that we tend to ‘center’ our consciousness in one of them. Thus an ‘intellectually centered person’ will interpret all experiences through this perceptual lens. Emotions could be categorized, labeled, psychoanalyzed, and even considered ‘not valid’ unless the reasons for them are understood. A moving-centered person would listen to what the body says, store information in the body, and listen to the intuitive wisdom of the body more than others.

The concept of centering applies both to the individual as well as to a family, a group, a community, a nation, or a world. The western world is very much intellectually centered, though there are pockets which have other centering. In general, the order of preference of the 3 main centers are:

  1. Intellectual center: Almost all high paying corporate jobs are primarily based here.
  2. Moving center: Some athletes are rewarded, and this center is needed to ‘get things done’.
  3. Emotional center: Emotions are recognized, but are often seen as something to ‘deal with’ rather than use with intelligence, as a form of perception or to enrich one’s life.

Centers are related to chakras, but are not identical. Chakras are gateways of energy, allowing energetic movement and interaction between the “outside world” and your own experience. A chakra is not where you process this energy, but is the conduit of that energy from within to without and back. There is thus a high level of interaction between centers and their appropriate chakra.

Imbalance in Centers

As mentioned, most people have a ‘favorite center’. This is usually where they spend the greatest amount of time â???? perhaps all of their time – operating from. There is nothing wrong with this, as no center is in any way ‘better’ than any other. Each center has its own unique strengths. At the same time, when one center is relied on to solve everything â???? including areas which are not its specialty â???? imbalances occur. This might be equivalent to using a screwdriver when a wrench is the easiest tool. A common scenario might be an intellectually centered person in a relationship fight who insists on being ‘rational’ while denying all emotions, intuitions, and warmth at that moment.

These imbalances affect health in the body as well. When there is imbalance or blockage, the flow of energy meridians in the body will be affected. There may be a concentration of energy in one area, leading to problems in that area or surrounding ones. Much of Traditional Chinese Medicine and acupuncture comes from thousands of years of observing the flow of chi, or energy, in the body, and noting where the most natural flow is in the body. When energy gets re-routed in areas the body was not designed to handle it, over time illness can occur. This is analogous to what an imbalance of centers is.

Beyond health issues, being imbalanced â???? and this is the most important aspect – will restrict the perception of what choices are available. If you are imbalanced towards one center, you will only see possibilities based in that center, even if they are inappropriate ones. The imbalance creates a buildup of energy that can fixate into patterns of behavior that may not always be appropriate. Thus in the example of the person insisting on being ‘rational’ above, there is usually no awareness that there is another way to be. The consciousness is seated entirely in one center and has no easy routes to other centers, and so only sees the options from that place.

When it comes to centers, the whole is more than the sum of its parts. This means that if you have all of intellectual intelligence, emotional intelligence, and body/world intelligence, you will be a much more powerful force to the world than three people manifesting each of these. Adding the awareness of the other 4 centers is more powerful still. Balancing the centers enables a much more regular and clear access to the higher centers, which are the source of epiphanies and ecstatic religious experiences.

Connections between Centers


The centers communicate amongst themselves. Because each center has their own intelligence, each benefit from the very different intelligence of the others. When used in co-ordination, there is immense power and wisdom that can be tapped by person. The emotions may inform the brain of their own wisdom, which then makes a more wider scope decision than it could have otherwise if it denied any emotional factors.

Most people have only certain pathways in the connections between centers open to them. To give an example, one person may be intellectually centered and base his consciousness there. He may not be open mentally to listening emotional sensitivities, and thus it is generally only the intellect that affects emotions, and not vice versa. There may be a good two-way connection between the body and the brain (but not the body and emotions). There may also be a strong emotional memory of certain pain in the past from the instinctive center, but thoughts of these events are unwanted and blocked. This may result in a connection flow such as this:

This is of course a simplified diagram of the connection in this example (your habitual connections may differ), but it is helpful to illustrate that connections exist and can be blocked.

The goal of balancing the centers, or being a balanced human being, is to ensure there is a good two-way connection between all the centers in the body. Each center listens and speaks to every other center, and each center performs its natural function while allowing others to perform in their own strengths. There is a perfect complimentary nature to all the centers, each helping the others in its own way. The idea of a ‘balanced man’ in Gurdjieff is based on this.

Parts of Centers

Nothing is an island in itself, and this includes centers as well. There are thoughts that have much emotional energy, and emotions that are close to being a thought. In this framework, this is because each center can be thought of as being itself a spectrum of all the centers, or a spectrum of 7 parts. (Again, we will focus only on the 3 “lower” centers here) Thus within the moving center, there exists a spectrum that covers the energy of all the centers in your body, but with a moving-centered foundation laid under it. So the emotional part of the moving center would deal with body-centered states and motions that have a definite emotional expression or focus.

The Michael Channel Shepherd Hoodwin has written the following about centers, introducing the part of a center:


Every center has seven parts of centers, which is a sort of doorway into the other centers. The parts of centers have the same names as the centers themselves. So there is an intellectual center, and an intellectual part of every center. Also, your part of center is like your secondary centering.


The part of a center is both within the original center as well as part of a connection with the matching center. Thus, as shown in the diagram, the Intellectual part of the Moving Center naturally connects with the Moving Part of the Intellectual Center.

If you could imagine each of the centers in the body, the various parts, and the interconnecting energies, you would get a picture of immeasurable beauty, a complete system that is in effect a miniature reproduction of the energies of the 7 planes of existence. When someone has all the centers connected to each other, there tends to be a great feeling of peaceful completeness. All is well.


Each part of each center has their function. Here is a table of some manifestations of the parts of the 3 more common centers a person might have. It is by no means a comprehensive list.

Part of center Manifestation
Intellectual center, intellectual part Pure thought, abstract theory. Thought for the sake of thought.
Intellectual center, moving part Planning events and what to do.
Intellectual center, emotional part Poetry, thought and words with a weight of emotion attached. Psychotherapy.
Emotional center, intellectual part Awareness of emotions, where they come from, and what they mean.
Emotional center, moving part Movement of the body as expressing emotions.
Emotional center, emotional part Pure emotion; crying, joy, perceptual feelings and some energetic sensitivity. Emotions for the sake of emotions.
Moving center, intellectual part Thoughtful actions, finishing projects, tai chi, movement meditations. Movement with awareness.
Moving center, moving part Running, pure dance, movement for the sake of movement.
Moving center, emotional part Emotive expression of the body. Dance, physical theatre, embodying emotions. Catlike movement.

When centers are discovered in someone or are channeled about them, what is usually given is the main center and the part of that center that is usually inhabited. In the example above, one’s consciousness can be fixated in the moving part of the emotional center. This is still the intellectual center, but is an aspect of thought that is focused on getting things done: thoughts about action.

The part becomes the trap

Returning to the connections between the centers, as mentioned earlier, most people have only a smaller number of connections active. When someone’s awareness is based in the Intellectual part of the Moving Center, this does not necessarily mean their connection to the Intellectual Center is well established. Often this connection is blocked to some degree, which means that there is some blocked energy, and the ‘part’ becomes the ‘trap’. It is a ‘trap’ because the majority of a person’s focus is spend locked in that part of the center, with significant inflexibility in accessing the wisdom of other centers.

For an example, say you were trapped in the Moving part of Intellectual center. In this trap, the energy that comes from a thought about putting something in the world would not move into action, nor come out as emotions that might inspire you further. You might think over and over thoughts about a plan of action, potential problems, analysis of other people involved and so on, but not do anything towards the plan. The impulse stays in the intellectual center, without using the balancing and completing energy of the moving and emotional centers. The trap tends to be a downward spiral, no matter what center it is based in. In this case, there might be a recognition of procrastination going on, in which case even more thoughts about doing something about it would form. Rather than solve the blockage in flow between the centers, this places even more energy in the already over-utilized centers. Those in a trap will have thoughts that things aren’t working because they’re not trying hard enough. There is thus more energy spend in doing the same thing with the same method, thinking things will be different.

Another example might be being trapped in the Moving part of Emotional center. This trap could appear in a number of ways, from always having a “jittery” feeling, to being very reactive to emotional events. In essence, there is an immediate emotional reaction to events, and then there is a reaction in the body (inwardly or outwardly) that keeps one in an emotional state. Any action that appears tends to be a frustrative reaction rather than a productive choice, and will have a strong emotional flavor. The full power of the Moving center has not been engaged and it is hard to step back and think in a detached manner about choices when a strong emotion is present. The trap is most noticeable when the reactions to emotions perpetually create even more emotions, leading to a life filled with emotional drama.

It is important to see that no trap is “better” than any other. They are all limitations: of perceptions, of resources, of choice. Society might have a preference that says it’s better to be stuck in the intellect, but aside from societal preferences there is no ‘better’ trap. Some will be more internal than external and are not as obvious to others who are not closely connected. The only issue is that of being whole; living more completely in who you are.

 

This ends Part 1. Part 2 involves techniques for balancing the centers.

? If you like this, read the next in the series!