The unity in Love

Posted by on October 7, 2007

Love is always a journey towards oneness, toward unity. ? Because the use of the word Love is so pervasive in Hollywood, psychology and everyday use, it is used in many cases in contexts which does not imply this. 

? For instance, here is one phrase which has entered into the standard cultural catch phrases:

You cannot love another more than you love yourself.

While true, this implies of course there is a distinction between loving yourself and loving another. ? There is no difference. ? Loving yourself is loving another, and loving another is loving yourself. ? To perceive otherwise would be to enforce separation where there in actuality is none. ? There is a vast web of interconnection between everyone and everything on this planet, and what affects one spins out to affect us all. ? Every action you take, whether it is to yourself or others, creates ripples throughout yourself, your friends, your community, and the world. ? Looking deeply at the vast power and scope of this interconnectedness, the ultimate truth is simply that you are the world. ? Loving yourself is loving the world, and loving the world is loving yourself.

This may seem idealistic and ungrounded to some. ? To help the explanation so you understand this interconnection in a more practical way, let’s look at a relationship pattern that has been very common in this culture, with manifestations in both genders:

A man decides he is in love with a woman and wants to build a future together. ? Wanting to demonstrate this, he showers her with gifts and wants to spend every waking moment outside of work with her. ? He makes her wishes ultra-important and always makes sure to do whatever it is she wants, putting aside his own desires. ? He has decided love is to be expressed through sacrifice. ? To pay the extra bills, he keeps at a job he doesn’t like much, and gives up dreams he has of alternate careers. ? While this feels very flattering at first, after some time the woman feels this sacrifice like a weight on her shoulders. ? He has given up large aspects of himself, which cannot help but create both a void in him that he hopes to fill via the woman and unspoken expectations that influence all interactions in the relationship. ? After a time this accumulates into frustrations and arguments. ? He has disconnected aspects of himself and assumed this is an action based in love. ? In essence, he has tried to find Love through not loving himself, and then discovers the expression of this lack of unity from the voice of his partner.

Showing the other side of the spectrum, many “selfless” people initiate all of their actions from a very “selfish” perspective – albeit with a grander awareness that encompasses this interconnection. ? Gandhi once spoke that he was the most selfish being on the planet. ? He performed every single action solely for himself. ? He thus did not get tired of living his ‘selfless’ life, because it was a continual reinforcement based in love of Self.

If you recall moments of love between you and someone else, even experiences with a pet, these are moments where truly their needs and desires meld and coexist with your own as equal partners. ? The other’s desires becomes your own. ? There is oneness and unity. ? There is no sacrifice of your own desires in this state, for your desires are as important to the other as their own, and vice versa. ? Experiences in this state are often called “higher”, where time stands still, colors seem brighter and a grand feeling of aliveness pervades every moment. ? However it is not truly “higher”, but simply underlying every moment, waiting for you to knock.

Love in hand

To help with this experience, here is an exercise:

Sit across from a partner and breathe calmly and deeply together as you look into each other’s eyes. ? Imagine yourself in a vast plain of grass and forests drenched in comforting sunlight, with all the space around you that you can possibly imagine. ? Now bring every aspect of yourself to this place. ? This includes all of your desires, your dreams, your frustrations, and even your defenses. ? Let them take up all the room they could ever need without any expectation of change. ? Your partner can do the same in their own mind. ? Breathe deeply for a minute until this feels like a completely natural self-perpetuating state.

Now bring your partner into this place, which includes inviting all aspects of them into your space. ? Invite their desires, their dreams, their frustrations, and yes, even their defenses. ? Give them as much space as they could ever need. ? Now allow both of you to interact in this space without trying to do anything. ? Let your desires interact with theirs without conflict. ? Even your defenses can interact. ? Give it time and space.

With complete permission there is an encompassing transformation that occurs naturally, without effort. ? There is no sacrifice, only expansion that comes from allowing a greater world you’re your own. ? Because their desires are as important as your own, the interaction helps you understand your own desires more clearly, and even grow towards grander dreams. ? Oneness helps you move towards clarity with your own identity, rather than making you give it up.

Note that this exercise can be done alone with the Self, for we all have conflicting aspects of ourselves that desire different things. ? These have sometimes be called “subpersonalities”, or separated aspects of Self that have different identities, albeit in milder forms than what is seen with true multiple personalities. ? If you are alone, you can stare into a mirror and bring conflicting aspects of yourself together into this vast open field of sunlight in exactly the same way as described above. ? Allowing all aspects of yourself to operate from a space of unity will of course create ripples in all the relationships in your life, inviting others to do the same. ? Loving yourself is indeed loving the world.

Comments (19)

 

  1. I think when your free it’s much easier to give love.

    • matthew says:

      But what is freedom, really? If you look at it, freedom is simply Love in itself. So if you’re saying it’s much easier to give love when you are love, you’re right. Good thing you already are.

      • If you mean it’s a good thing that I’m free yes it is. My spirit is free, and i’ve never been happier.. :)
        There’s so much that I can accomplish when I give love.

        • matthew says:

          I would make the emphasis as much on being love as anything else. For instance, in activism, if you make someone with opposing views “the enemy” in any way, it is unlikely you’ll reach them or anyone else that resonates in some way with their views. If you are inclusive of them, but simply show a better way that incorporates them and more of the rest of the world, including the environment, then it is likely more people would hear you, because it’s a more loving stance.

  2. B says:

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I really dig your ideas here (we are on the same wave length), and will be back to share more when time provides.

  3. [...] Spears presents The unity in Love posted at Loving Awareness, saying, “Love is always a journey towards oneness, toward unity. [...]

  4. [...] Spears presents The unity in Love posted at Loving Awareness, saying, “Love is always a journey towards oneness, toward unity. [...]

  5. [...] Spears presents The unity in Love posted at Loving Awareness, saying, “Loving yourself is loving another, and loving another is [...]

  6. [...] Spears presents The unity in Love posted at Loving Awareness, saying, “Love is always a journey towards oneness, toward unity. [...]

  7. [...] The unity in Love [...]

  8. Brilliant! Simply brilliant! I’m glad you stopped by and left a message on my blog, otherwise I would never have found your own site. I love it – wooo, I’m gonna be returning here a lot.

    Thanks for all your great work.

    • matthew says:

      Thank you! I quite enjoyed your blog too; you have quite the comprehensive collection there, very well written and accessible.

      I met Isabella (moritherapy) a couple weeks ago here in Vancouver actually, I was glad to see the link to her on your site!

      Matthew

  9. [...] To help see this, I’ve listed a number of characteristics young children have that we could all learn from. It is these characteristics that epitomize Love. [...]

  10. [...] Spears presents The unity in Love posted at Loving Awareness, saying, “Love is always a journey towards oneness, toward [...]

  11. Really enjoyed the post. Hope to see more soon.

  12. Free chair in solid shape, My business is moving in a few days turf would be am giving that one to somebody that wants it. Make a few moments it as well as stop by my place within one or two days, shoot us a message. Period person to get hold of me takes it home, thanks

  13. Hollister says:

    Attractive component of content. I just stumbled upon your website and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts. Anyway I will be subscribing for your augment and even I fulfillment you access consistently quickly.

  14. […] Spears presents The unity in Love posted at Loving Awareness, saying, “Love is always a journey towards oneness, toward unity. […]

Leave a Reply

electronic cigar humidifier
cohiba cigar ashtrays
cigar sampler with humidor
thompsons cigar auction
antique cigar ashtrays
mild cigar brands
cigar smoking accessories
best cuban cigars
cigar ashtrays
top rated cigars
discount premium cigars
vintage cigar boxes
famous cigar smokers
cuban cigars
cigar humidor humidifiers
cigar lighters
cuban rounds cigars
engraved cigar cutters
cigar daily deals
cigarette shop online
famous smoke shop
thompson s cigars
cigars online shopping
leather cigar cases
cigar cases engraved
cheap cigar humidor
travel cigar cases
discount cigars online
best cigar brands
buy cuban cigars
cigar ashtrays cheap
best cigar lighters
ashton cabinet cigars
famous smoke shop promo code
cigar humidor humidifier
jr cigars coupons
glass cigar tubes
cigars lighters
cigar of the month club
cuban cigar reviews
cigars humidifier
cheap cigar humidors
engraved cigar cases
smoking cigars
cigar room humidifier
ashton cigars
cigar cabinets
cigar tubes wholesale
best cigar lighters review
personalized cigar humidor
cheap cigars online
ashton churchill cigars
cigar auction
cigars thompson
cigar humidor combos
best cigar humidifiers
cigar deal
cigar and humidor deals
humidor cigar combo
best cigars online
tobacco store online
cigar cabinet
engraved cigar humidor
online cigar shops
cigar club of the month
cheap cigar samplers
best mild cigars
leather cigar holder
cigars auction
padron cigars
discounted cigars
best online cigar store reviews
acid cigar sampler
famous cigar shop
electric cigar humidifier
cigar sampler
cheap cigar tubes
wood cigar boxes
cigar gift boxes
premium cigar sampler
dominican cigar brands
aluminum cigar tubes
free shipping cigars
cigar online store
cigar sampler deals
discount cigar humidors
stinky cigar ashtray
humidifier cigar
cigars brands
personalized cigar boxes
free cigar samplers
cigar humidor cabinets
best padron cigar
cigar of the month clubs
discount cigars free shipping
crystal cigar ashtrays
good cigar brands
1001 cuban cigars
cigar tubes aluminum
cigar sampler packs
discount cigar
cuban cigar brands
plastic cigar tubes
cigar brands
cigar daily deal
commercial cigar humidifier
great cigar deals
cigar savor tube
online cigars stores
commercial cigar humidifiers
the famous smoke shop
cigar shop online
cigars deals
buy cigar boxes
vintage cigar ashtrays
cigars discount
cigar online stores
famous smoke shop promotional code
padron 1926 cigars
collectible cigar boxes
cigar humidor cabinet
cuban cigar boxes
cigar humidifier reviews
famous smoke shop reviews
best cigars to smoke
glass cigar ashtray
daily cigar deal
cigars online free shipping
online cigar shop
cigar humidifier
famous cigar auction
cigars free shipping
personalized cigar cases
thompsons cigars online
cigar ashtray stand
best cigar samplers
best online cigar shop
cheap cigar boxes
best cigar sampler deal
cigar holders
cigar auction sites
cigar smoke shop
thompsons cigar
cigar brands and ratings
cigar smoking jacket
discount cigar lighters
best cigar humidifier
padron cigars online
authentic cuban cigars
personalized cigar humidors
cheap cigar brands
cigar discounts
thompson s cigar
cigar tubes plastic
cigar free shipping
cigar tube
cigar tubes
cigar humidors cabinets
padron cigar
cigar cases
cigar combos
best cigars brands
cigar lighter ratings
discount cigar samplers
cheap cigar lighters
cheap cigar ashtrays
cigar auctions online
aluminum cigar tube
online cigar auctions
cigar humidor deals
best online cigars
cigar coupons
daily cigar deals
brands of cigars
cigar auctions
personalized cigar accessories
cigar stores online
best online cigar
cigar cabinet humidors
cigar accessories
cigar lighter reviews
cigars cheap
cheap cigar accessories
cigars cuban
habanos cuban cigars
cheap cigars
jr cigars coupon
cigar discount
cigar store online
deals on cigars
famous cigars.com
boxes of cigars
cigar smoking
cabinet cigar humidor
ashton vsg cigars
cigar humidifiers
lotus cigar lighters
custom cigar boxes
famous cigars
cigar sampler specials
personalized cigar lighters
cigar cases leather
cigar combo
cigars cases
best cigar deals
cigar humidor combo
cigar international coupon
discount cuban cigars
cigar travel cases
best cigar lighter
cigars of habanos
cuban cigar
cigar samplers
empty cigar boxes
online cigar store
cigars samplers
online cigar stores
engraved cigar lighters
antique cigar boxes
cuban cigar humidor
ashtrays for cigars
cigar gift set
discount humidors
personalized cigar gifts
cigar holder tip
good cheap cigars
cigar month club
cigars ashtrays
humidifier for cigars
cigar websites
thompsons cigar tampa
best cigar deals online
best cigar humidor brands
top cigar brands
little cigars brands
cigar shops online
cuban cigars online
best cheap cigars
cigar auctioneer
best online cigar stores
humidifiers for cigars
cigar holder
cool cigar ashtrays
cheap cigars online free shipping
cigar cabinet humidor
discount cigars
cigars boxes
monthly cigar club
cigar thompson
cigar boxes
personalized cigars
cuban cigar prices
cigar ashtray
cigar auction websites
ashtray cigar
cigar international deals
best cigar of the month club
humidor cigar combos
cigar lighter
engraved cigar cutter
famous cuban cigars
cheap cuban cigars
ashton cigar
single cigar holder
cigar.com coupon
cigar gift
maduro cigar
best deals on cigars
cigar deals
cigar online shop
what are the best cigars to smoke
cigars holders
best online cigar store
cigars shops online
thompsons cigars
custom cigar lighters
cigar of month club
famous cigar