Loving Awareness

Loving Awareness – an exercise

Posted by matthew on July 2, 2007

As I mentioned in the previous blog, I’m co-writing a book with Karen Murphy centered around the subject of Love.? Notice the capitals – it’s intentional.? It’s really meant to go beyond all the cultural stereotypes and assumptions we have about the subject (e.g., “a vague syrupy emotion that guarantees happiness”) coming back time and time again to the truth that we ARE Love. 

? Every part of us, without exception.? This of course is interplayed with all the duality we live in here on Earth.? We’re mostly done the “Levels of Love”, which aren’t based on cosmic grade schools, but more about the degree of allowing we have in our lives.? The duality is that Love already exists perfectly inside us, but our awareness and experience of it may not be consistent with this.? It doesn’t focus on the idea that a “higher level is better”, but instead, on seeing the perfection and unity of all expressions of Love, even actions such as survival-focused, reptilian brain ones which we tend not to think of as such.? It is via that perception that allow more expansive experiences.

I’d like to intersperse this with a little personal report on how this is affecting me.

Many changes seem to be happening inside me as this writing and channeling is going on.? First, as the focus on what Love IS continues, more potential for the experience of it has shown itself, and at the same time, more light has been shown on the manners in which I resist it. 

? Things I’ve not fully accepted about myself.

For example, this morning as I was meditating in the sunlight, fears came up strongly.? Before, I would feel plenty of discomfort, with many impulses to get up and abort the practice, but this time it was much more a direct experience – terror.? Today, these were all related to my impatience, such as what I’m “missing out”, intolerant thoughts such as “why haven’t I gotten over this yet!”, and thoughts of all the other things I could be doing now.? The latter ironically included things my mind thinks would be loving – which were always about the future and not in the present moment.? My impatience also does a wonderful job in excuses to avoid any pains or intense feelings occurring in the present moment.? Years ago I truly thought I couldn’t handle intense emotions and needed to be “fixed”.? Now there’s still some terror, but I know what is “me” is truly bigger than any of them.? Ironically, the emotions I could accept were the ones which I didn’t feel were “loving” emotions.? This now is superimposed on my newer understanding and application of Love which includes ALL these aspects of myself, which paradoxically includes, for example, small minded bickering (within myself and with others), frustration with myself, intolerance, and pure pain.?

When it comes to it, Love has been emphasized to me over the last few years – of which Troy’s group (Cocteauboy on here) has been a wonderful part – as a Wholeness.? That is, everything inside myself is already loving, including all parts I’d previously thought as not loving, such as anger.? More than that, it all IS Love.? This has changed so many perspectives, especially any perspective that thinks there is something in myself, or others, that needs fixing.? That change has been such a shift in truly appreciating the magnitude of simply being alive on Earth and in getting to a sense of play with all of life.

back to the book…

The following are 3 exercises that I am putting out there.? I would like as many people to try them as possible and report back any experiences and thoughts they have.? So no, you don’t have to comment right away on this one!
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1. 

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?? The first has simply to do with assisting you in transcending the sense of isolation that can exist.? Position yourself where you can feel sunlight on your body, preferably your face.? Closing your eyes, imagine yourself becoming one with the particles of light and energy that rain down upon you and around you.? Feel the Love that comes to you from the enormous source of energy that is available to you at almost any time.? This source of energy has, of course, no expectation whatsoever from you.? It is freely given.? It is yours.? Feel, then, again, the sense of oneness that begins to pervade you as you feel the warmth spread on your skin.? Allow yourself the freedom to expand INTO that source, for you are indeed a part of it.? Your sense of awareness, then, may begin to extend to other facets of nature.? Sense the trees in their perfection.? Inhale the scent of flowers, of the damp earth fresh from rain.? Listen to the sounds of nature all around you.? If you are not in a place where nature can be sensed so closely, you can still feel at one with the walls and the carpeting and the roof around you, for all of these things once came from nature.? Awareness that a thing is as perfect in moving from its original form to another will increase your sense of oneness with everything around you.

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2. 

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?? For the second part of this exercise, we encourage you to extend your awareness to the perceptions of others.? Specifically, to the meeting of the boundaries of your Self as you know it and the boundaries of others.? All of you have experienced a time when someone moved past your own internal boundaries and created within you a sense of discomfort.? This is especially true of children, and you all have memories of being children when your boundaries were crossed.? Many children react with violence, and some withdraw.? It is this pattern of behaviour that persists later in life.? It is important, then, to maintain an awareness of the boundaries of others whenever you attempt to connect with them for balance to be achieved.? The innate desperation we spoke of earlier creates a sense of urgency in connections, causing ‘rushing’ and ignoring of boundaries.? It is important to temper the connection within the confines of the boundaries of whom you are attempting to connect.? This then, leads to this second exercise.

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Imagine your self surrounded in a circle of your closest friends, acquaintances, or family members.? You love all of them.? You are aware of their love for you. 

? Starting with a very small circle, imagine yourself sending an invisible cord from your heart to theirs through which to connect more closely.? If this is done slowly and with gratitude, you will sense at some point a slight barrier between you.? Feel this barrier, and allow your gratitude to expand and include it.? Enjoy this connection, and appreciate any sensations that come through this barrier, without any rush or urgency.

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This circle can now grow further.? Allow then, the circle to begin to widen to include still others.? You notice this creates a momentary sense of the potential of loss.? Be aware that through the cord of connection the circle could widen to an infinite degree without you ever losing connection.? Practice attempting connection, feeling a boundary, appreciating it, and then allowing the circle to widen further with those of your immediate acquaintances for some time.? You will notice more than likely, shifts will occur within the construct of these relationships.? Notice them and allow them while maintaining the knowledge that the connections can never be severed, no matter how wide the circle grows.

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You may wish to continue this exercise and practice it with those with whom you are less acquainted with, for instance, work colleagues.? It is not necessary to maintain an intense connection with those around you, but instead to simply allow a connection to develop and grow naturally between you.? Once allowed to develop naturally, the connection will strengthen of its own accord.

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3. 

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?? The third exercise involves increased awareness of Self.? You have all likely heard that in order to love others, you must first love yourselves.? We would not put it in such stark terms.? However, loving yourself is the SAME as loving others.? There is no difference.? Love is Love.?

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Visualize yourself, then, high up on a remote, rocky mountaintop.? Your friend the sun is gently warming your face.? Your awareness extends to the circle you made in the second exercise, however it is far, far away, and you are simply alone.? You sense the grandeur of your surroundings, yet, at the same time, you are aware of the perfection that exists within the rhythmic being of your own heart.? And it is this sound that now lulls you to sleep at night.? On this mountaintop, you are aware of the rhythmic ebb and flow of the tides of the movement of clouds across the atmosphere of the ever present circling of the seasons as they occur around you.? On this mountaintop, you experience time both very quickly and very slowly at the same time.? Allow then, your awareness to build towards the circle you made, and toward the source of the sun at the same time.? Moving in both directions causes your own inner source, your heart, to grow as well.? You are now aware that your entire existence can reside within the vastness of your own heart.? This gives you a tremendous sense of peace and gratitude for the perfection that is you.